Hyrule Games: The Randomness Returns
by LinkHammer
Summary: What happens when the Author returns to Hyrule just in time for a set of team games and Link and Saria need an extra member. Absoloute Randomness, that's what. Prepare for an all new adventure filled with........ something and iced coffee!
1. The Author Strikes Back

GUESS WHAT? I'M BAAAAAACK!!!........ I was going to spend a while thinking of new ideas before writing a new story but after seeing the reactions to the ending of my last story I decided that I needed to get straight to work. And now I'm able to do my least favorite thing, the Disclaimer. I do not own the Legend of Zelda (the agony). Well enough chit chat for now. Time for the story.

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It is a brand new day in Hyrule. People everywhere are waking up to start their tasks for the day……. Everyone that is except for a boy, now of about 14 years, who is still fast asleep inside his three house situated within the Kokiri Forest. Yeah you know him by now. It's Link *cheers and confetti as well as other stuff fly around from wherever the fangirls are….. oh and we can't forget, FANGIRL SCREAM!!!*. Well as you would have figured out by now, he is fast asleep, him and his fairy asleep…….waaaaiiiiit. Navi isn't in her bed…..where is she?

"HEY, LISTEN, LINK GET UP IT'S A BRAND NEW DAY FOR YOU TO GO EXPLORING!!!!!" Navi yelled at the top of her lungs.

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" was Link's reply.

"COME ON!!!!! NORMALLY HEY AND LISTEN, WAKE YOU UP IMMEDIATELY SO WHAT'S WRONG NOW!!!!!!!!!?"yelled the annoying fairy again.

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

"Ok you asked for it now buster" said Navi as she rolled up her shirt sleeves.

*SLAP*

"OW!!!! What was that for Navi?" said Link as he sat up rubbing his cheek.

"You weren't waking up when I yelled at you" said Navi with her arms crossed.

"What?.......wait let me take these ear plugs out" said Link as he performed the task he said he would.

*SLAP*

"What was that for!!?" said Link as he looked in the mirror to see the small red hand mark appearing on his face.

"You just deserved it" said Navi as she fluttered around his head.

"Stupid fairy…..why do you have to hurt me?" said Link as he put his hat on.

"I'm still angry that that blasted author LinkHammer managed to get the first point against me before disappearing" fumed Navi.

"That was months ago Navi" said Link shaking his head in a bewildered fashion.

"Yeah I know but at least I'm prepared for him if he ever arrives again. There's no way that he'll ever get two points against me before I get him at least once" she smirked.

"Oooooooook" said Link as he grabbed his sword and shield.

"Well, anyway I woke you up today because Saria said she received a note that said you, me, Leo and Saria get to have a free breakfast at this place in the forest" Navi said excitedly.

"Well let's go" said Link before rushing off (nothing gets in between him and a free meal).

"Hi Link" said Saria as he arrived at her house.

"Hi Saria" said Link before giving her a hug.

"Well are you ready to go?" Saria asked with a wink.

"Never been more ready for a free meal" said Link with a grin.

"Hi Navi" said Leo as Saria and Link started to walk off.

"Hi Leo, let's hurry before those two get their first and Link eats all the food.

**At The Random Spot That Was Chosen For This Free Breakfast……yum!!**

"Wow. Look how beautifully the forest has been decorated around here" Saria as she looked around with awe.

"Yeah, someone must really like us to go through all this trouble just to make our breakfast special" said Link.

"There are our seats" said Leo as he pointed towards the table and four chairs.

"Let's see…… hey they even have names on them and guess what I get the comfiest seat" said Navi as she sat down on her heavily cushioned but oddly shaped chair.

"I wonder where the waiter is" said Link as he looked at the menu on the table.

His answer was soon answered as a guy walked out of the shadow. The guy had a strange form of headgear that covered his face yet allowed him to talk, breathe and see like normal.

"Ah welcome, welcome esteemed guests. I am Louie Hammerhan and I will be taking your orders this morning" he said.

"Well I'll have the scrambled eggs, bacon and toast" said Link.

"I'll have the same, though could you throw some forest fruit in?" said Saria.

"Certainly madam. Let it not be said that Hammerhan's Café doesn't serve the order" the waiter replied.

"I'll just have some tomato soup" said Leo.

"I'll have the same" said Navi.

"Ah, Miss Navi. You cannot possibly order from this plain menu. It is such an honour to serve you and as such you get to order from our special menu" LH said as he handed Navi a much decorated menu.

"What's it say Navi?" asked Link.

"It says _'Two Nil'_. What does that mean?" said Navi.

Her question was answered as the waiter pulled a lever and Navi's seat threw her far away into the distance to hit a large target right in the centre.

"Bullseye!!! I knew that catapult would work" said Louie Hammerhan as he jumped with joy and the headgear slipped off to reveal an all too familiar face.

"LinkHammer?" said Saria as she just looked at him.

"The very same" I said and grinned at everyone.

"What are you doing here?" said Link.

"Well I couldn't leave you guys alone especially after the reviewers from our last adventure seemed so upset about the adventure ending. Also I bought that really nice catapult and some other stuff so I had to try it out on Navi. I can't just leave it at one point up especially seeing as she seemed so sure that she would have it as one all before I scored another point against her" I said.

"She flew a long way" said Leo.

"Yeah well she'll be back soon" I said.

"I'LL BE BACK SOONER THAN YOU THINK!!!!!" a very angry Navi yelled from behind me.

"Oh sh*t!!!"

*WHACK, POW, BAM, HURT, CRUNCH, CRICKET BAT!!!!!!!*

"I feel much better now" said Navi.

"Ow………." I said as I kinda fell unconscious on the ground.

"Navi did you have to knock him unconscious? We didn't even get our food yet" said Link.

"He wouldn't have really given us breakfast" said Navi with a superior air.

"Hey boss, have you got the food orders yet" said a chef as he appeared around the corner.

"The orders are right here" said Link as he took my notepad and handed it to the chef.

"I'll be right on it" he said before rushing off.

"Ok so I was incorrect this one time" said Navi.

"Yeah and the other million times aren't counted" I said as I slowly regained consciousness and tuned in on the conversation.

*WHACK………….back out for the count*

"What are we going to do with you?" said Saria as she shoock her finger at Navi.

"Who cares? Foods here" said Link as he sat down and his order was placed in front of him.

"We'll talk about this later" Saria said to Navi.

**10 Minutes Later**

"That was the best breakfast I've ever had" said Link, Saria and Leo.

"Glad you guys got something" said Navi.

"Hey we even got a notice with this meal" said Link as he grabbed a piece of paper from under his plate.

'_Come one and come all to the Hyrulian Team Games. Teams of three (fairies not included as team members just assistants) will work together to fight and think their ways through to win the championship prize of 1,000,000 rupees or a date with the contestant of your choice.'_

"Wow" said Leo.

"We have to enter that" said Saria.

"But fairies aren't counted as team members and there won't be anyone else you really want on your team" said Navi.

"We've always got LH for a team member" said Link.

"We are not going on another screwed up adventure with HIM" said Navi. "It would be best if he just returned back to his world and left us alone."

Suddenly a red light zoomed down from the heavens and Din stepped out.

"Ah LinkHammer is here now, I'll just wake him up" she said and clicked her fingers.

"Huh…….oh hi Din. What you doing here?" I said as I picked myself up from the ground.

"Well I'm just here to tell you that me and my sisters will be entering the Hyrule games and I'm also delivering those iced coffees to pay for my comfy sofa" the goddess said.

"Cool" I said as I reached for my precious iced coffees.

"Ah ah ah…….. you should come with me to see Nayru before you get those iced coffees. She has been moping around the heavens waiting for you to come back and see her, and I will not let any of my sisters be unhappy" said Din while shaking her finger at me.

"Do I really have to?"

"Yes you do now let's go" said Din before warping both of us up into the heavens.

"This first day back in Hyrule must really be hurting the poor guy" said Saria.

"Yeah, I feel sorry for him. Well he'll find some way to make it good" said Link.

"Well I'm sure he'll be able to catch up with us so let's head to Hyrule Castle to register for the games" said Navi before turning around to fly off.

"Hey wait a second Navi" said Link.

"What is it now?" said Navi.

"There's a bowl of food set out for you now, it must have been prepared for you by LinkHammer."

"That's sweet of him, I wonder what it is" said Navi before sitting down in _'her seat'_.

"It has letters in it. It must be alphabet soup" said Saria.

"Yeah and it'll probably form a message using magic after you've taken the first bite, knowing LinkHammer" said Leo.

"Ok" said Navi before taking a bite.

Sure enough letters rearranged themselves and a message was formed.

'_Three to me'_ said Navi with confusion.

*TWANG………………..SPLAT!!!!*

The catapult slowly reset itself after firing the fairy away into the target again.

"She's gonna kill him when she he returns" said Saria as she watched Navi slowly slide of the target.

"Hey he got another bullseye" said Link.

"So he did" said Leo.

"Well let's go to Hyrule Castle and sign up for the

**In the Heavens**

"Yo Farore, can you go get Nayru for me?" said Din to her green haired sister.

"I'm not sure she'll come. She's having one of those LH moods again" said Farore.

"We'll I got a surprise for her that will make her completely happy again" said Din.

"The only thing that would make her happy would be the return of LinkHammer…" said Farore.

*Wink*

"You didn't" said Farore.

*Wink and Grin*

"You sneaky devil…… I'll go get Nayru right now" said Farore before rushing off.

"What are you planning here Din" I said.

"Just you wait my insignificant friend, just you wait."

**10 Minutes Later**

"This better be a good reason for disturbing me" said Nayru.

"Oh it is, now close your eyes because it's a surprise" said Farore.

"Fine" said Nayru and shut her eyes.

"Ok Nayru I want you to hold your arms out in front of you and out wide as if you were going to hug something" said Din.

Nayru did as she was told.

"Go get LinkHammer from the other room" Din whispered to Farore.

"Rightio" said Farore before rushing off to get me.

She eventually came back with her hands over my eyes.

"Why aren't you letting me see" I said to Farore.

"You'll see soon enough" said Farore.

"That was a really bad pun" I said.

"Here you go Nayru, we have your surprise" said Din and Farore before pushing me straight into Nayru's open arms.

"Ooof. Why you good for nothing sisters, just pushing something into ……….HAMMER BOY!!!!!!!!!" squealed an ecstatic Nayru.

"Oh oh" I said before I was crushed in the over energetic goddess's hug.

"I can't believe you returned and thought to visit me straight away" said Nayru with joy radiating from every pore in her body.

"I have to be the happiest girl in the world" she said happily.

"Hey Nayru, he'll be entering the games and so that means you can beat him and take the prize that you want" said Din.

"Whaaaat?" I said.

"Oh that's just wonderful. I can go out on a date with you and it will be fully funded and the most romantic thing ever" squealed Nayru.

"_I have to win those games if I want to be safe" _I thought.

"Well that's enough reunion time for now. Let's send him back so we can prepare for the games" said Farore.

"LOAD LINKHAMMER!!!" shouted Din.

"Loaded" said Farore.

"READY, AIM………wait for it!!!!................FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted din.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" I shouted as I was fired through the air and towards the rest of my group.

"Goodbye Hammer Boy" said Nayru as she blew a kiss my way.

*MATRIX IN THE AIR TO AVIOD BLOWN KISS*

**Down with my Group**

"He sure is taking his time" said Link.

"Yeah well this mean's I'll be ready to pay him back when he does arrive" said Navi.

*AAAHHHH THUMP!!!!!!*

"I believe that's four for me" I said as I brushed myself off.

"I'll kill you" said Navi as she collapsed in the Author shaped crater with a little Navi imprint right in the centre (Yeah I landed on her).

"This'll be one long adventure" said Saria whilst shaking her head.

And don't we all know it. Beware of the randomness!!!!

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Well what did you think? I'm a bit low on ideas but i'm hoping I managed to make you guys laugh at least once. Yup my favorite stories are the humor genre and so I aim to make people laugh too. So get your reviewers cap on and tell me what you think.


	2. CRICKET BAT'S REVENGE!

Well, well, well. If it aint the old Randomness in the Zelda Chat Room or whatever name we want to call it next. I don't own the Legend of Zelda. Well there's not to much to say right now so lets just see what you guys think.......oh and there is of course some violence, that you should make you guys happy again.

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**Link: Hey we're back in here again.**

**Me: Yeah well I need someplace to keep that readers entertained don't I?**

**Saria: You mean a place where you'll be hurt by people.**

**Me:……… yeah that to.**

**Navi: I'LL KILL YOU!!!!**

**Me: And it's already started…… WEEEEEE!!!!**

**Saria: Does she have the cricket bat with her.**

**Leo: Yup.**

**Zelda: When am I going to be included in this story.**

**Malon: Probably soon.**

**Ruto: I'll be mentioned first.**

**Zelda: No I'm more important so I will.**

**Ruto: You wanna make a bet on that?**

**Malon: I'll take this bet as well.**

***CATFIGHT***

**Me: I'll just mention you all at the same time to really p*ss you off *said while running past*.**

**Zelda: Well it worked.**

**Malon: That sneaky mongrel.**

**Ruto: Navi needs help killing him.**

**ZM&R: LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!**

**Link: Why do all the girls try to kill him?**

**Leo: It's just what he does.**

**Saria: Well I've managed to get over the need to kill him *piece of paper hits her in head***

'_**You Wanna Bet? Signed: LinkHammer'**_

**Saria: I changed my mind……. GET HIM!!!!**

**All the Other Girls: That's the spirit Saria!!!**

**A While Later…… whaaaaat? This message thing works even in here?**

**Navi: Mr Cricket Bat is hungry (that was for you JGRDL)**

**Zelda: You need to be stopped before you can ruin any more of my genius plans.**

**Me: Genius aint the word that I would use.**

**Zelda; KILL!!!!!**

**Malon: I'll poke you with the dreaded Pitchfork of Doom.**

***DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!!*………cool.**

**Ruto: I just don't like you.**

**Me: That was the most pathetic reason to kill me so far. You really are hopeless.**

**Ruto: Why you *BEEEEEEEEEEEE***

**10 Minutes Later**

**Ruto: *EEEEEEEEEEEEP***

**Me:……… much better.**

**Saria: We finally have him surrounded.**

**Me: Perfect.**

**Everyone Else: Huh?**

***Click***

***TWANG, TWANG, TWANG, TWANG, TWANG……… SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT, GRAB***

**NMR&Z: Owwwwwwwww………**

**Saria: Thank you for catching me Link.**

**Link: It was nothing Saria.**

**Me: WOOHOO!!!! Each of them was bullseyes, and best of all I didn't get hurt.**

***WHACK***

**Me:…………stupid falling cricket bat *THUMP*.**

**Girls (except Saria): Get him while he's down.**

**Me: Crap.**

**The following section is too violent for even me to want to know, and I created it……… well you need to wait for the next chapter.**

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Well there you go, another set of random things that involve me getting hurt. Well I hope you guys and girls have enjoyed this story so far. Until the next chapter....................................................................................

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Just seeing if I could annoy you there.

Cya and don't forget to REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Let's Go Bowling!

Hello again peoples. Sorry about the delay between getting this chapter up and going but school work has been holding me back again. Well it's here now so we can all be happy again.

**Hyrule Castle……why do we need this message at the start of the story?**

"Welcome to Hyrule Castle ladies and gentlemen, if that's what you are" said a bored looking man dressed in a grey suit. "We are currently accepting entries for the 5th annual Hyrule Games, so come up her and sign you and your team of three up…………_I hate my job._"

"We'd like to sign up" said Ruto as she Malon and Zelda walked up to the registration booth.

"Yeah we need that money" said Malon.

"Well I only want to win a date with Link who will definitely be in the games" said Zelda.

"Come to think of it, I would rather Link to the money" said Malon.

"I have enough money regardless" said Ruto with a superior air around her.

*SPLAT*

"OK WHO THREW THAT TOMATO!!" yelled Ruto.

"It was obviously me fish face" said Ganondorf as he stepped out of the shadows with another tomato ready.

"WHY YOU PIECE OF SH*T!!!" yelled Ruto.

*SPLAT, SPLAT*……..ok I lied. He had two tomatoes ready *grin*.

"What are you doing here Ganondork!!?" said Zelda in a not to friendly tone.

Well it definitely wasn't _'invite you over to dinner friendly'_ type of voice.

"Isn't it obvious? Me and my team are entering the games and are going to win. And when we do, I am going to have you for myself Zelda" he said with an evil grin (he's gotten really good at those. But what would you expect? It was in the job description for evil supervillian).

"Who are your team members?" asked Link as our group arrived.

"Me, Majora and a mysterious person known as the Forest Shadow" said Ganondorf with a sneer at the Hero of Time.

"Your names are registered oh Dark Lord……" said the registration person in a very bored voice.

"Who is this Forest Shadow?" said Saria.

"He will come forward a present himself now" said Ganondorf.

A small shadow came forwards to reveal a short humanoid shape covered with cloaks and other feature covering clothes.

"I am the one known as Forest Shadow and when my team wins the games you will be mine Saria" said Forest Shadow.

*WHACK*

"Hi Mido" I said as I slowly put my hammer back in its place.

"Mido?" said Saria.

"Yeah well the size and the fact he knew and wanted you was a fair indicator. The fact that he came up with a crappy name like 'Forest Shadow' was the real confirmation I was looking for" I said.

"He has a point there" said Leo.

"I would have thought of it soon" said Navi.

*sigh* "How many times have you said that and I've had to bring up some embarrassing piece of information about how useless you really are Navi?" I said.

"I lost count" said Navi.

"Yet another reason why you are absolutely useless" I said.

*WACK*

"Can someone take that Cricket Bat off her?"

"No can do LH" said Link.

"Why not?"

"It's not in my contract" he said.

"Who makes the contracts for these things!!?" I exclaimed.

"Probably someone from Nintendo who has nothing else to do except make us characters do more things than we need to" said Saria.

"That would explain it" said Navi.

"Well we just need to wait around and see who else enters the games now" said Leo.

"And who asked you to put in your 2 rupees!!" snorted Ganondorf.

"Oookda, da, da" said Majora (that is really freaky so I'll just translate his words into English…….Hylian.

"There was no need to be rude!!" shouted Navi.

"What's the widdle lightbulb going to do about it?" sneered Majora.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" said Link (I would have said it, but well…… you know that I definitely would have insulted Navi anyway).

"And why not shrimp!?" Majora sneered again.

"CRICKET BAT!!!" I yelled.

*WHACK, BAM, POW, CRACK*

"NOBODY CALLS BE A LIGHTBULB, OK!!!!" screamed Navi with fury.

"Except me" I said with a grin.

"CRICKET BAT!!!" yelled Saria.

"AAAAAHHHHHH, RUN AWAY!!!" I shouted before taking my own advice and running away from the furious author.

**10 Minutes Later**

"The registration for the Hyrule Games is now officially closed. A list of all the competitors will be provided in an hour's time back here" said the registration bloke.

"I wonder who else has entered?" said Saria.

"Yeah, it'll be really interesting to see what kind of competition we have" said Link.

"Well you guys have fun because me and Leo aren't allowed to participate in the games" huffed Navi.

"I did manage to obtain you a position on the team Navi" I said.

"YOU DID!!! HOW?" said Navi with joy.

"Well it says that fairies can't participate as team members. However, I managed to sign you on as our tactical advisors and managers" I said with a smile.

"Good on you man" said Leo.

"Yeah well there is a slight catch" I said.

"What?" said Navi.

"In the job description that they accepted for you to be on the team………..well you and Leo are also signed on as our cooks" I said.

"I AINT COOKING FOR YOU AND LINK!!! YOU TWO EAT MOUNTAINS OF FOOD!" shouted Navi in annoyance. "Saria is the only one I would cook for."

"Yeah well if you don't cook for us you can be fined quite a hefty amount of rupees….. I think it's 500,000 rupees…….so decided whether you want a boring time at home, stay with us and don't cook and being fined, or stay with as and cook" I said seriously.

"FINE I'LL DO IT!!!" yelled Navi before flying off in a fit of anger and Leo went after her to try and calm her down.

"Hey LH"

"Yeah Link"

"I remember the thing about tactical advice and management of the team but I'm sure that I never heard any rules and regulations about them having to cook for us" Link said.

"Yeah well I had to try and get something useful from Navi didn't I. I'm just glad she caved in and agreed with me because I was running out of lies to make up" I said.

"She won't be happy when she finds out" said Saria.

"What do you mean when?" I said.

"Well Ganondorf and his gang are standing over there so they would have heard everything" said Saria.

"It is true that they are standing over there. But they'd have to be conscious to hear what we said" I said with a smile.

"Why would they be unconscious?" asked Link.

*click fingers*

My hammer went flying out of my hand and whirled through the air until an unspoken command brought it back down to my hand.

"How does that help you with this problem?" said Link.

"Well before I started speaking I sent the hammer off to knock them all out and lean them against the wall *grin*" I said.

"How'd you get it to do that?" said Link.

"I installed a program with a _'do it yourself kit'_" I said.

"Where'd you get that?" Link asked.

"If I told you that then where would all the mystery be? I have to keep a few secrets to myself you know" I replied.

"Well I guess we just need to bum around until we can find out who else is in the team" said Saria. "But what can we do for an hour?"

Me and Link looked at each other *double grin*.

"Bombchu Bowling?" said Saria.

"Yeah it's really fun" I said.

"And you get heaps of great prizes when you win" Link added.

"Do you both know what you're doing?" said Saria as we entered the building.

"Of course we do" said Link.

"We're pros at this thing" I added.

"Do you three wish to play?" said the woman behind the counter.

"We would definitely like to" said Link with a charming smile.

"I don't know how to though" said Saria.

"Well I'll give you lot the first game free just so you can have a training session. You can still win prizes though" the counter girl quickly added.

"Sounds like a plan to me" said Link.

"Ok darlings, the prize this time is a 100 rupees for each person who wins" said the woman behind the counter.

"I'll go first to demonstrate Saria" said Link before stepping up to the line.

He pressed the button on the bombchu and set it on the ground.

*WHIZ, WHIR………BOOM!!

The first wall collapsed as the bombchu exploded in the hole.

"Now there are three walls Saria" said Link. "The first one was guarded by the moving spike. This second one is guarded by a small cucco."

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

The second wall collapsed.

"WOW!! You missed the chicken as well" said Saria with awe.

"Just wait until you see what is guarding this last wall" said Link.

"It's a giant cucco in a small pit" said Saria.

"Yeah and the only way to get to the hole is through the pit and past the big cucco" I said.

"That'll be near impossible" said Saria.

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………………………………………………..BOOM!!*

"PERFECT GOAL!!!" yelled the woman behind the counter. "Here's your 100 rupees sir" she said before handing the money over to Link.

"Thanks. Ok Saria now it's your turn" said Link.

**5 Minutes Later**

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………………………………………………..BOOM!!*

"AND WE HAVE ANOTHER WINNER!!! Here are your rupees madam" said the counter lady.

"I can't believe I managed to win. And I only hit the objects a few times" said Saria with great joy.

"I'm proud of you Saria" said Link as he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Maybe a piece of heart would have been a more appropriate prize" I sniggered.

"Shut-up and do your bowling" Link said playfully.

"Ok"

*WHIZ, WHIR………BOOM!!

"One wall down" I said.

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

"And that makes two walls" I said with a smile.

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

"You hit the cucco" said Link.

"I know" I replied.

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

"You hit it again" said Saria.

"Yeah.

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

"Why do you keep hitting the cucco? I thought you said you were a pro at this" said Saria.

"Yeah but answer me this. Where else can you seriously hurt cuccos without getting pecked to death by a rampaging flock of them after a few hits?" I said.

"You have a point there" said Link.

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

"Kentucky Fried Chicken (I would say Cucco put it sounds better with chicken), that's KFC" I sung.

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

*WHIZ, WHIR…………………….BOOM!!*

"Ok now I'll use my last bombchu to win" I said before doing stretches and huge dramatic impressions.

*SLAM*

The door burst open and Ganondorf, Mido and Majora stepped through the door.

"Ok where is that author creep who knocked us out with his pesky hammer!!?" yelled Majora.

"We need to teach him a lesson" said Mido.

"One that he will never forget" snarled Ganondorf.

"And this one goes through the legs" I said before pressing the button on the bombchu and making it go through my legs towards the three villians……….. would you believe two and a half villians?

*BOOM, THUMP THUMP THUMP*

"LinkHammer, why did you waste that last bombchu on them. You could have won the 100 rupees and then we would have helped you to get past them" said Link.

"Yeah that was really stupid of you LinkHammer" said Saria.

"Well the way I see it guys, I could have won 100 rupees then escaped with you two. Big deal I have lots of rupees anyway. Now, getting to blow those three up with a bombchu………priceless" I said with a wink and a grin.

"Yeah but who's going to pay for your dinner tonight?" said Link.

"Well you two have a heap of money now and I'd say that you would owe me a few favours" I said *WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE (WARNING: MAJOR HINT BEING GIVEN RIGHT NOW………….if you still don't understand that I'm hinting at them needing to pay me back for helping them then you really need help, I know I do).

"Ok, Fine. Well we still have plenty of time to kill before the list is ready so let's see what else we can do" said Link.

"Then let's go" said Saria.

"Please watch your step as you walk over the charred villains. Thank you for flying with Bombchu Blast Flights. We hope you return sometime" I said in my best air stewardess voice……….HEY, WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!…………………oh yeah now I remember............._stupid bet_.

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Well I hope you people have enjoyed this chapter because I know that I certainly did. I am extremely pleased with all of the positive reviews that I have recieved. In fact, I don't think i have recieved a single flame at all since I started writing fan fiction.......talk about wierd huh. I thought heaps of people would like to bring me down.

Well you know the deal from this point on. Review, review and review some more. And thanks for being such a supportive bunch of readers. You all deserve a cookie and iced coffee.


	4. I Get HURTIES!

I don't own the Legend of Zelda. Well are you guys ready for another very exciting random series of events taking place in the Zelda Chat Room or whatever we want to call it depending upon our mood? That is exactly what I thought you would say but you're going to have to read it anyway.

Please note that there is an important message I want you guys to read towards the end of this chapter because it **_WILL_** affect the events taking place in the rest of the story. Until then, ENJOY!!!

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**Me: Well this a very promising start for an adventure isn't it guys.**

**Link: Definitely.**

**Saria: Very good.**

**Leo: Not bad.**

**Navi: It could be better.**

**Me: What do you mean?**

**Navi: Well I have to be your cook.**

**Me: I am very sorry about Navi. You really have been neglected so I have a preset for you to make it better.**

**Navi: You have, that's so considerate of you LH.**

**Link: I never thought you would get something for her.**

**Saria: It's pretty unbelievable you getting her something nice.**

**Me: Yeah, well believe it because here you go Navi.**

**Navi: I wonder what it is.**

**DO DO DO DOOOOO***

'_**You got the miniature chef's hat, perfect for little fairies to wear while cooking meals for other people. Set to the top C button to use so we won't actually have to listen to what Navi wants to say, you'll just pull the hat out instead of listening to her oh so mysterious words of wisdom…….stupid Great Deku Tree thinking she actually had words of wisdom.'**_

**Saria: I believe it now.**

**Me: And I also got one for you Leo.**

**Navi: I'LL KILL YOU LINKHAMMER!!!**

**Me: Time to go!**

**Navi: Get back here, my cricket bat wants to reacquaint itself with your head!!**

**Me: AAAAAAHHHHHHH, get away from me you strange deranged fairy.**

**Leo: I quite like the hat.**

**Link: Yeah it doesn't actually look all that bad.**

**Navi: DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU GUYS AS WELL AFTER I'VE FINISHED WITH THIS ONE!!!!**

**Link&Leo:………… how does she bloody do that.**

**Saria: She must have some ultra instinct or something.**

**Ganondorf: That author is going to die when I find him again.**

**Mido: Definitely!!**

**Majora: Nothing will stop us…………**_**ooooooo look at the pretty flowers**_**.**

**Me: Catch *said while running past***

**Mido: Hmmmmmm it's a very large barrel with a skull and cross bones on it.**

**Ganondorf: Well I've never seen this kind of thing before.**

**Majora: I have. It's from the land where I come from, but I can't remember exactly what it does.**

**Mido: Well we'll find out soon.**

**Me: You certainly will *said while running past again at very high speeds so as to get away*.**

**Ganondorf: Hey, it's ticking really fast now.**

**Majora: I remember now!! It's called a powder keg.**

**Mido: What does it do?**

**Majora: Uh, I can't remember that much.**

**Link: Prepare for a large explosion soon Leo.**

**Leo: Why?**

**Link: Well the powder keg that LinkHammer just threw to those three guys goes……**

**Majora: I know!! It goes…**

***KABOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!***

**Ganondorf:………I hate you Majora *THUMP***

**Mido: ………The pain*THUMP***

**Majora: ……… Why does it always happen to me? *THUMP***

**Navi: I've got you now LinkHammer.**

**Me: You and what army.**

**Army of Girls: Us!!!**

**Me:………what?**

**Zelda: I decided to join this army to get in slapping practice.**

**Malon: I also needed to train physically.**

**Ruto: I had to join because everyone else was.**

**Din: I want to see how many fireballs you can dodge.**

**Farore: While tied down with my vines.**

**Nayru: I want to be as close to you as possible.**

**Midna: I need to be close to people hurting others.**

**Me: How did you get here?**

**Midna: Twilight Portals, they're everywhere you know.**

**Farore: I'll need to look into this.**

**Medli: I'm practising with my new offensive sagely powers.**

**Tetra: My crew needs to learn to cope without me and I get to kick but!!**

**Me: But aren't you Zelda?**

**Tetra: Different timeline so there can be two or more of us in the same place.**

**Me: Damn.**

**All Girls: CHARGE!!!!!!!!**

**Me: This is going to hurt in the morning.**

***THUMP, CRASH, BASH, BAM, POW, HURTY, WHACK, CRACK, POP, SLAP, CRUNCH, EVEN MORE HURTY!!!!!!!!***

**Link: He won't be able to do much for a while after this.**

**Leo: Or so we think.**

**Saria: We may just never know.**

**IMPORTANT NOTICE: the reason I didn't put the list of competitors up yet is because I wish to see who out of you lot want to be included in the story. I want to complete at least two more teams so I need at 6 victims…… I mean volunteers at the minimum to sign their lives away…… sign up. If you don't want to be a competitor then you can always be a judge. They're important to so we'll see. I won't be able to make all of you competitors because it will take to much time so don't be disappointed if you don't get in.**

**Send me your preference of place in the story (**_**team member / judge**_**).**

**One item you would like to use (please make it random and interesting).**

**Skills.**

**Maybe a brief description of your avatar (person entering story).**

**Any musical skills (I have an idea I want to put into action).**

**And any ideas you think should be included in the competition such as events, break times, places etc.**

**You will also win a place in this chat room.**

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Well I hope you enjoyed that. Now remember to review the story and include the things I have asked for you to include if you are interested. If you don't want others to know and you wish for it to be a surprise then you can send me a private message in regards to the thing mentioned in the last part of the story.

The rest of the story depends upon you lot so don't let me down. Cya


	5. The Teams Are Here

Well I've finally managed to write this new chapter, it would have been out sooner but I only got the last required person yesterday which meant I could finally start writing. I don't own the Legend of Zelda. Prepare for some slightly wierd stuff in this chapter..........heck you expect it in almost every chapter. Well onwards to reading!!

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"I can't wait to see who else is entering the games" said Saria as she held Link's hand.

"Well there is bound to be a large variety of challengers so we'll have to be ready to expect anything" said Link as he smiled at her.

"We don't have to worry about any of that because Navi is suuuuure to point out their weaknesses" I said with great sarcasm.

"Why thank you LinkHammer, that was about the first compliment I've heard from you today" beamed a now happy Navi.

*sigh* "Sarcasm is really lost on fairies."

"Hey LinkHammer, where did you dissapear to about ten minutes ago?" asked Saria

*grin*

"Well answer my question" said Saria

"No time for that guys, it looks like they are about to read out the list of competitors and their team names" said Leo.

"Welcome again ladies and gentlemen. We are proud to finally announce the people who will be competing in the Hyrule games" said a tall man who had the look of a commentator about him………there's always at least one for these things.

"Why are you still smiling LH?" asked Link.

*grin*

…………………*sigh*

"Our first team is composed of Link, the Hero of Time. Saria, the Sage of Forest. And some random annoying author named LinkHammer who seems to have some obsession with iced coffee. This team has also got two fairies named Navi and Leo who will be acting as managers and tactical advisors" said the man on the podium.

"Don't forget that they their cooks!!!" I yelled from the crowd using my ventriloquism skill of which I actually have none but think that it would be a really cool thing to be able to do.

"I don't remember that on the papers but we'll add it straight away in case there has been some muck-up……Our second team is composed of Ganondorf, the dark lord of evil who always manages to get pwned by the Hero of Time. Majora, some strange looking thing that has an evil mask that was also pwned by the Hero of Time when he was still just a small kid. And Mido, some Kokiri who we will somehow exploit in someway or another" said the guy on the podium again.

"You bet we will!!!" I yelled again making it sound like it came from the opposite end of the crowd.

*WHACK*

"Ow what was that for?" I said.

"Stop interrupting the guy and just listen or I'll hurt you even more" growled Navi.

"Our third team are none other than the three goddesses of Hyrule" said the man with a grin.

*THUMP, THUMP, THUMP*

Out of the now fallen balls of light stepped each of the goddesses. Din was dressed in a revealing red sparkly dress that made the crowd suck in their breath with awe. Farore was dressed in a more modest but still stunning green dress while Nayru was about the same but in a blue dress.

"Hi and thank you for being so supportive for us" said Din flashing a dazzling smile that had the crowd cheering for her.

"I can't wait to see everyone else compete in the games. It's bound to be another grand year" said Farore with an equally dazzling smile.

"Wow Farore is beautiful" a guy to my left.

"Hey is that you JGRDL?" I said.

"Sure is man" he said with a grin.

"I'm guessing that you like Farore" I said.

"Well yeah. Ummm could you do me a favour?" JG said.

"Yeah, what do you need?" I said.

"Well seeing as you are very close to Nayru, could you get close to Farore and sort of tell her about me?" JG said sheepishly.

"Ah, so once more I play cupid……at least I don't have to wear the stupid costume and carry around the poxy bow" I said.

"_Note to self: cancel Cupid costume order_" thought JG.

"Why hasn't Nayru said anything" said Navi.

"This oughta be good" I said and faced the stage.

"Why is she looking this way" said Link who was just to my right.

"HAMMER BOY!" squealed the blue haired goddess before she started weaving a spell.

"Oh sh*t she heard me" I said before I was teleported onto the stage.

"And it appears that one of the goddesses has a boyfriend" announced the guy on the podium.

"Bastard" I muttered.

"Well now that that bit of excitement is over we can get around to announcing the other compeditors. Team number four is an odd group composed of Princess Ruto, the stuck up fish girl with a crush on Link. Princess Zelda, a girl who continually gets kidnapped by Ganondorf then pretends to be heroic right after the Hero of Time slays him. She also has a major crush on Link. Then there is Malon, a simple farm girl who speaks to horses and is yet another would be soul mate for Link."

"Team five contains Midna, the princess of the twilight realm who enjoys riding on the back of Link in wolf form and offers some more useless information. She's kind of like an imp version of Navi……….hmmmmm now there's a theory. We also have Medli, a member of the Rito tribe who are the evolved descendents of the Zora race. She is the sage of the Earth temple (that's rather ironic how Zora's and Rito who have nothing at all to do with earth are the earth guardians and then the Kokiri and Koroks who are the children of the earth spirit, Great Deku Tree, are the sages of the Wind Temple). The last member of this team is the pirate Tetra, just another useless reincarnation of Zelda who makes Link do all of the work for her and gets captured by Ganondorf yet again."

"Team six is JGRDL, an experienced guy with a vast array of skills who likes to hunt the elusive manbearpig in his spare time (this got a small apprasing smile from Farore……BINGO). Next we have Robert (he's really MegamanSora), an experienced archer who apparently has a knock-back amazing voice. Lastly on this team we have DarthRevanShepard, a kick a** basketball player with a severe desire to destroy all trace of Navi. All in all a very valuable team member, especially the destroying Navi part."

"Team number seven is mostly made from the new bunch of reviewers with the first member being Evil Destroyer, a guitar player who looks like the Twilight Princess version of Link. The next member is Issacivan, an eccentric and hyper history geek who will just show you what he can do……….please don't fall asleep if he starts rambling on about something you don't find interesting. Lastly there is archsage328, a piano playing, rod of seasons wielding guy who may just have the ability to manipulate the wind but I highly doubt it"

*WHOOSH. THUMP*

"The wind doesn't seem to agree with you on that" yelled archsage328 from the audience as the announcer person picked themselves up from the ground.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT LATER!!!! Anyway, those are the teams and a poster will be placed here with the teams and their names if you want future references.

"Well we might as well check out that list right guys" said Link.

"Certainly" said Saria as they linked arms and walked off to read the poster.

"Wait for me!" I shouted as I ran away from a possessive blue haired goddess and joined the duo.

"You can't forget me" said Navi as she tried to catch up with us.

"Yes we can" I replied.

*WHACK*

"One of these days………*sigh*"

"You two need to get along with each other if we are all going to be close together for these games" said Link.

"Ok" said Navi.

"And what about you LinkHammer?" asked Saria.

"We'll see. We will see *grin*"

"Why are you grinning?" asked Saria.

"Well we are now able to read the team names" I said.

"And what will be so funny about that" said Leo.

"Stop talking guys, I want to read this" said Link.

**Heroes of Time:**

Link, Saria and LinkHammer.

**Us Baddies Love Each Other:**

Ganondorf, Majora and Mido.

"What the f**k" exclaimed Navi.

"And that answers your questions about me smiling and my whereabouts some time ago" I sniggered.

"You would have to get some reward for going through all of the effort to alter the original documents" said Link.

*GRIN!!!*………………ok now how can a grin have exclamation marks. It just makes no sense whatsoever……..I swear that there is something wrong with command central right now.

"Who paid you?" asked Saria.

"I'll tell you later" I replied.

"Guys can we get back to reading this?" asked Navi.

"Yeah guys" said Leo.

**P*ssed Off Link Fangirls Who Always Need Help From Link:**

Malon, Ruto and Zelda.

**Newbies To The Stories Who Also Always Need Link To Help Them:**

Midna, Medli and Tetra.

**Bunch of Crazed Authors**

JGRDL, Robert (MegamanSora) and DarthRevanShepard.

**Evil Issacian ArchSage People…………Ok so I ruined the name just then.**

Evil Destroyer, Issacivan and archsage328.

**Game Managers and Judges:**

Dark Link, Fado, Darunia, Liaminzo (the announcing guy) and Volvagia.

"Dark Link's a judge and game manager?" said Link in astonishment.

"Yeah well I hear he had a part time job as a team mascot for the Canadian Ice-Hockey Team so they chose him using his resume'" said Saria.

*Blank Stare*

"Well you don't think he spent all that time just waiting to fight you in the Water Temple……do you?" said Saria.

"Well the thought did cross my mind" Link said sheepishly.

"Ah Link you can be silly sometimes" said Saria with a smile and a wink.

"Hey it's been awfully quiet while we've been speaking" Link said suddenly.

"Where'd LH and Navi go?" said Leo.

**A Short Distance Away………Aaaargh I Thought I Wouldn't Have to Read the Stupid Message on the Screen this Chapter.**

"Rooooooooll up everybody to see the fantastic furious fairy!!" I shouted to the crowd.

A few Gorons did roll up and claimed they saw nothing.

*SLAP TO HEAD!!*

"Not that kind of rolling up………_twits_"

"5 rupees to see the fantastic furious fairy ladies and gentlemen. This is a rare opportunity for you, maybe once in a lifetime!!" I shouted again.

"I'll pay" said one guy who was then followed by another and another until the building I'd quickly hired up was packed.

"Now this fairy goes by the name of Navi and she gets extremely annoyed. Why if she wasn't in this near indestructible and soundproofed bottle you would hear her screaming HEY and LISTEN and the tops of her lungs while whacking people with a cricket bat" I announced.

Navi slammed around in the bottle trying to make it break.

"WHOA LOOK AT THAT THING GO!!" exclaimed a young girl in the crowd.

"You must stop this immediately sir" said a tall, proud man as he entered the building.

"Who are you?" I said.

"I am a representative from the Hyrulian Animal Rights Association. That fairy deserves to go free and we will sue if you don't let it out immediately" the guy said.

"Ok a few things I would like to say to that" I said. "One: Navi is a she and not an it no matter how much we may wish it so. Two: Fairies are technially classified as miniature people as directed under the Hyrulian Constitution of People, Creatures and Monsters, therefore making her not classified as an animal but as a person just like you and me which means that you are in the wrong profession oh animal rights person. And point three: You didn't pay to come in here so pay up 5 rupees and watch the show."

Link Saria and Leo entered the building and looked around in amazement.

"Hi guys" I said.

Navi thrashed around in the bottle.

"What are you doing?" said Saria.

"Earning some money for our dinner" I replied.

"Cool" Link said with a smile.

"How can Navi not break free?" asked Leo.

"Well as I was telling the crowd here, she is locked in a near indestructible and completely soundproof bottle" I replied.

"Near indestructible?" said Link.

"Yeah well the guy who sold it to me said that only one thing will break it but he didn't tell me what" I said.

"Have you tried to find out?" asked Saria.

"Yeah well I'll demonstrate to everyone.

With that I proceeded to belt the bottle with my hammer, ditch it at the ground all with no effect. It was superheated then superfreezed and still nothing happened. All the while the crowd was cheering and clapping.

Eventually they all went back to whatever they were supposed to be doing leaving Link, Saria, Leo, the bottled Navi and myself standing in the building.

"LET ME OUT!!!"

"Huh… did Navi's voice actually break through the sound proof barrier?" said a shocked Link.

"Man I knew her voice was annoying but to think it even withered away whatever makes the glass soundproof……that's just inconceivable" I said.

"THE LONGER YOU KEEP ME IN HERE, THE MORE HURTIES YOU WILL RECEIVE LINKHAMMER!!!"Navi's voice rang out of the bottle again.

"You might want to let her out now LinkHammer" said Saria.

"And get hurt? No way, that way I'd have to put up with her hitting me all the time as well as listening to her. This way we only have to listen to her" I said.

"Hmmmm…. Well you do have a point there" said Link.

"Exactly, now all I need right now is an iced coffee……ah there we go, nice and cool and refreshing" I said.

*Drip…….SPLAT!!!*

"Awww man" I said as I watched a drop of iced coffee slide down the cool class of the near indestructible bottle.

"What do you mean awww? Come on it was just one drop" said Saria

"Yeah, it's not like it's a matter of life and death" said Link.

I was just about to agree when…….

*CRACK, CRACK, CRACK………….SHATTER!!!*

"I'LL KILL YOU LH!!!!!!" screamed the furious and now completely free fairy.

"You just had to say that it's not a matter of life and death…JYNX!!!" I shouted.

*WHACK, BAM, POW, SHOVE, HURTY, THWACK, SLAP, CRUNCH, CRACK*

"Who would have thought that iced coffee is the only thing in existence that could destroy the near indestructible bottle?" said Link.

"Not me" said Leo.

"Well I'm sure that LinkHammer is definitely not pleased about that" said Saria.

"You better bet I'm not" I managed to wheeze from my spot on the ground.

"That was a good stretch" said Navi. "However I think my muscles still need more of a workout!"

"Goddesses preserve me"

*WHACK, BAM, POW, CRACK, THUMP AND EVEN MORE HUTIES*

"Ow……….."

"Navi. We were just about to ask him who paid him to alter the team name for Ganondorf's Team" said Link.

"You really do choose the worst times to carry out your grudge against the author" added Saria.

"I guess we'll have to wait a while to find out" Leo said gloomily.

**Meanwhile, Elsewhere……I Don't Exactly Know Where Elsewhere Is**

"_I'm so happy that I get to spend so much time with the other two. Yeah us Baddies really do love each other_" thought Majora.

"I'LL KILL WHOEVER CHANGED OUR TEAM NAME!!" yelled Ganondorf.

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHO IT WAS?!!" Mido also shouted while failing to sound louder and more important than Ganondorf.

"It was the author LinkHammer" murmed Majora while lost in thought.

"LET'S GO GET HIM!!" Mido and Ganondorf shouted together.

"_It's wonderful to have the name changed to suit my own needs and then get the others to attack the person I paid to do it………my evil life couldn't be better. Now then who can I get to paint our team room pink?_"

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Ok now this chapter has left us with the knowledge of the teams, their skills and some questions about what is going on in Majora's mind right now. Well please review because they make me feel happy. I hope that you are all satisfied with everything so far and if you haven't actually said anything in the story don't feel bad because in the Zelda Chat Room you all get a go at doing something. Well cya for now and don't forget the reviews.


	6. De'ja' Vu

Hello and welcome back to the Zelda Chat Room. Everyone gets to say something in here so prepare to see yourself doing some pretty wacky things and if you don't get to do any this tiome then you can expect it to happen next time. Well I guess I better say that I don't own the Legend of Zelda so here it goes........... don't tell me you thought I was going to say it again.

Before we start I would just like to put in a random thought. Ever since Ocarina of Time I swear that Navi has snuck herself into every game in some form or another. In Majora's Mask she probably swallowed a desk bell, painted herself yellow and called herself Tatl. In Twilight Princess I swear that Midna is Navi in Imp form. I was playing Wind Waker and do you know what the scariest thing was?........... Ok I was at the Forsaken Fortress when Link pulled out that weird stone that Tetra gave him and it yelled out "HEY!!". They call it a communication stone but it should be called a Navi Stone because it glows a light blue, is used to transmit useless information and whenever they talk through it, the conversation starts with a "HEY!!". Talk about freaky or what.......

Well thanks for listening to that and if you skipped it then I advise you actually do read it.

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**Link: This place can be really relaxing you know……just peace and quiet.**

**Saria: I know what you mean. You could probably hear a pin drop.**

**L&S: *contented sigh***

**Navi: I'LL F*CKING KILL YOU LINKHAMMER!!!**

**Me: I wouldn't bet on it!!!**

**Leo: Can you two please calm down?**

**Navi: Not until I kill the author!!!**

**Me: This'll take a while.**

**Ganondorf: You ruined our team name!!**

**Mido: Prepare to die!!**

**Me: But Majora paid me to do it!!!**

**Ganondorf: Lies! No evil lord would ever have a name like that and I swear I saw some pink paint near our team dormitory!!**

**Mido: Majora would never do that so you must die!!**

**Me: You two really are stupid you know**

**Mido: Of course we know that……waaait!**

**Ganondorf:……**_**twit!!**_

**Zelda: You haven't done anything yet but it's in our strict rules book that we must destroy the author every time we are in here.**

**Malon: Yup, page number 1 in the Hyrulian Females Guide to Authors.**

**Ruto: We made it ourselves!! *said very proudly***

**Me: Yeah I could tell from the crappy hand writing and spelling.**

**ZM&R: DIE!!!!**

**Midna: We want to help!!! *freaky grin***

**Medli: I'm sure I can blind him by reflecting light from my harp.**

**Tetra: I'll freak him out with the Navi Stone.**

**Me: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH**

**JGRDL: We must go help LinkHammer!!!**

**DarthRevanShepard: Let us not wasteth time on idle chit-chat then.**

**Robert: A comrade in arms deserves quick assistance.**

**Evil Destoyer: My fellows, we hath nought but our own items to help him with.**

**archsage328: Through the courage and strength of our souls shall we saveth our companion anyway.**

**Issacivan: Uh guys, you basically just killed the heroic speeches and all this time we have been standing around here doing nothing while we should be helping LinkHammer.**

**Others: We knew that!!!……smart person.**

**Zelda Characters: You have no chance now LinkHammer!!**

**Authors and Reviewers: Not so fast now. He has us to help!!**

**Me: You guys kind of took your time. We all had to stay frozen in our positions while we were waiting for you lot to decide upon coming to help me.**

**Zelda Characters: *murmurs of "yeah", "that's true", "they sure were slow" and "A light gravy sauce really brings out the flavour of the chicken… I mean, I agree that they were extremely slow".**

**JGRDL: That doesn't matter!!**

**DarthRevanShepard: Yeah because we are going to kick your sorry behinds, especially Navi's.**

**Robert: You'll never know what hit you.**

**Evil Destroyer: Feel my wrath of awesomness.**

**archsage328: The wind is on our side today!**

**Issacivan: I can predict your fighting styles as they will be similar to the stereotypical medieval fighting styles as Hyrule is bas…**

**Everyone Else: SHUT UP AND FIGHT!!!**

**Issacivan: My knowledge will be helpful to you all sometime……ungrateful lot.**

**10 Minutes Later**

**DRS: Ok we just got beaten and tied up again just what happened in Link's Valentines Day when we mobbed Zelda, Malon and Ruto.**

**Robert: Well at least it's not too bad……we haven't gone crazy yet.**

**JGRDL: ****Déjà Vu, Déjà Vu, Déjà Vu, Déjà Vu *rocking back and forth in the fetal position while laughing hysterically***

**Robert:………well at least it's only one ****person *grin sheepishly***

**Link: ****Hey that reminds me while I was in Termina……serious déjà vu about the whole moon destroying the world in 3 days (said from on top of the hill with Saria and Leo.**

**archsage328: ****Get him away from me or I'll go mad as well…… please I'll tell you anything.**

**Evil Destroyer:…Any thing?**** *looks at Issacivan***

**Issacivan: Any thing *grin***

**Navi: ****What has happened to the 'oh so brave and fearsome authorian people' now?**

**Midna: ****That was too easy. You guys are pathetic.**

**Medli: ****Even I can fight better than you.**

**Tetra: ****All of you lot are useless.**

**Zelda: Watch out for monkeys.**

**Malon: ****Will do.**

**Ruto: ****We're not making that mistake again.**

**Me: ATTACK MY LOYAL MONKEYS WHO ARE HYPED ON ICED COFFEE!!!**

**10 Minutes Later**

**Me: Well at least we can say we didn't lose to a bunch of monkeys hey guys?**

**DRS: ****Totally.**

**Issacivan: That was awesome.**

**Evil Destroyer: Have a banana……NOOOOO GET AWAY FROM ME!!!**

**archsage328: ****You don't feed banana's to hyped up monkeys they just attack you.**

**Evil Destroyer: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!**

**Robert: At least everything is ****fine again.**

**JGRDL: More ****Déjà Vu, Déjà Vu, Déjà Vu, Déjà Vu *still in fetal position***

**DRS: ****You just had to say that didn't you?**

***sheepish grin***

**Link: ****As we were saying earlier, totally peaceful and quiet.**

**Saria: ****Nothing could be any better *snuggles closer***

**Leo: I think I'm slowly going mad now****.**

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Well what did you think about that and tell me if you agree about the whole Navi Stone thing. I guess I don't have to tell you that you should really review *WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE....MAJOR HINT HERE!!* Well goodbye until the next chapter. If you have anything you want to say then you can mention it in your reviews or PM me.

Cya: LinkHammer


	7. ROUND ONE!

Finally another chapter is here. Sorry it took so long but school and writers block have been holding me back. Well I don't own the Legend of Zelda but I can still do random stuff with it *grin*. This is offically the longest chapter that I have ever submitted so *big celebration and party noises*.

Well why are you still reading this. GET ON WITH THE STORY!!!

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**Dawn of the First Competition 72 Hours Remain………this aint Majora's Mask you twit!!**

"Ah what a beautiful morning" said Navi as she got out of bed and flew through the team dormitory to find Saria sitting in the kitchen.

"Morning Saria" the pesky blue fairy said in a cheery voice.

"Morning Navi, are the others up yet?' said Saria.

"Leo was just waking up when I left but the other two a still fast asleep" she said after grabbing a biscuit.

"I'll just throw water on them again" said Saria with an evil grin (reference for the water incident is chapter 1 of 'Link's Valentines Day).

"Morning" said Leo as he fluttered into the kitchen.

"Morning Leo" said Navi with a smile.

"What do we have planned for the day?" Leo said as he also grabbed a biscuit to munch on.

"Well today we are competing in the first event but before that we are going to throw water on Link and LH to wake them up" said Saria in a matter of fact tone while she lifted the now filled bucket out of the sink.

"I don't see this going well" said Leo while shaking his head.

"I see it going perfectly well" said Navi with a freaky Midna grin (this supports my theories).

"What could possibly go wrong?" said Saria as the group walked into the bedroom and up to Link's bed.

*SPLASH………………………*

"Huh?" said Leo in shock as he stared at the dripping wet but still asleep form of Link.

"Something's not right" said Navi.

"He's always so reactive to water when he's asleep. What could prevent him from waking up?" asked Saria.

The answer was given when Link rolled over in his sleep, removing some of the covers and showing that he was wearing his Zora Tunic.

"He must have known that you would do something like this to him when he wanted to sleep" said Leo.

"That's cheating" said Saria.

"Well there's always LinkHammer, I'm sure he won't be wearing a Zora Tunic" said Navi with an evil grin.

With that the fairy started flying towards the prone figure of the sleeping author when all of a sudden my hammer flies off the ground, picks up the bucket and pours its contents on top of Navi (man I love that upgrade).

Leo and Saria tried to stifle their laughter with no success whatsoever and a contented grin crept over the face of the sleeping author.

"This isn't going to get us anywhere" said Saria after she stopped laughing.

"Let's get breakfast ready while we wait for those guys" said Navi in a very annoyed tone of voice.

**10 Minutes Later**

"Mmmmmm, smells delicious" said Navi as her meat, potato and gravy was ladled into her bowl.

"I can't wait to taste it" said Leo.

"Be careful, it's hot" said Saria.

"AAAHH, HOT HOT HOT!!" screamed Navi who had not paid any attention to what Saria had said.

Now twice in one morning, Saria and Leo were failing to stifle laughter.

"I guess we'll just have to go for a walk and wait for our stuff to cool down" said Saria.

"Ok" said Leo.

"Why do I suddenly feel like a bear?" said Navi just before the three left the dormitory / cottage thingy.

**Meanwhile in the Other Dorms**

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" screamed Ganondorf.

"What's wrong Ganny" said Majora.

"My name is not Ganny!!!" yelled Ganondorf.

All of this noise woke up Mido who quickly looked around the room and did pretty much the same thing Ganondorf did.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

"What's wrong with you two?" asked Majora.

"The room is bl**dy painted pink for goddess's sake!!" yelled Mido.

"And it definitely was a nice black and grey yesterday!!" Ganondorf also yelled.

"………Soooooooo" said Majora.

"I WILL KILL WHOEVER DID THIS TO OUR ROOM!!!" Mido and Ganondorf yelled at the same time.

"………………..huh?" they said at the same time as well.

"This is really freaking us out" they said in unison once again.

"This is going to take a long time" said Majora while shaking his head and wondering whether or not the room might have been better in a beige colour.

**Next Dorm**

"I wonder what Link will be wearing today" said Zelda as she stared out of the window.

"It will be something nice a blue, to show that he loves me endlessly" said Ruto as she shined her scales.

"Not likely fish girl. He will wear red to match my hair because he loves me so much" said Malon.

"Both of you are wrong. He will wear that beautiful golden tunic that I gave to him as a birthday present" said Zelda with a superior smile.

"The Zora Tunic lets him breathe and withstand water, he wore it all through the temple even where there wasn't any water just so that he could be with me if we met" said Ruto.

"He likes to wear the red tunic when he rides **MY **horse, meaning that he wants to impress me" said Malon.

"He loves me!"

"No he loves me!"

"He loves me instead!"

*SMASH, BAM, POW, RANDOM FIGHTING NOISES*

**What's in This One**

"I wonder what contest we are entering in today?" said Medli.

"Hopefully one where we will have to fight" said Tetra.

"Do you mean as in something that will hurt people?" asked Midna.

"Yes" said Tetra with her famous wink.

"…….Excellent!!" said Midna with her freaky grin.

"You two really need to calm down with the violence" said Medli.

"Listen, just because you are not the best of fighters yet doesn't mean that you can tell us fighters what to do" said Tetra.

"Soon enough you'll be gouging their eyes out with the rest of us" said Midna.

"Well if you two say so……I think I'll go play some music on my harp outside for a bit" said Medli before exiting the building.

Midna and Tetra looked at each other.

"We have a lot of work to do with that one" said Midna.

"Maybe I should enlist her as a pirate to toughen her up" said Tetra.

"Hmmmmmmm" they said together.

**Another Dorm………how long will this go for?**

"Baseball BatCheck"

"Tazor swordCheck"

"Book on explosivesCheck" said JGRDL.

"What are you doing?" asked Robert.

"Just making sure that I have everything I may need to use in the first competition" JGRDL replied.

"Ok………..hey where's DarthRevanShepard?" asked Robert.

"She's outside practising" said JGRDL.

"Ok, I'll go check" said Robert as he walked out the door.

"Rubber DuckyCheck" said JGRDL.

Outside DRS was spinning around and hitting light bulbs that hung from trees.

"What you doing?" asked Robert.

"Practising" replied DRS.

"Yeah, I kinda got that part. What are you practising doing?" said Robert.

"Hurting Navi" was DRS's reply as she smashed another ten glowing light bulbs.

"_This is going to be a really interesting day_" thought Robert before going to find something to eat.

**Final Dorm………It's about time.**

*Loud guitar noises*

"ARGH can you stop that infernal racket!!!" yelled archsage328 as he tried to sleep a bit longer.

"Sorry but I need to practice" said Evil Destroyer.

"Can't you do it some other time?" asked archsage328.

"No can do" replied Evil Destroyer before strumming another series of chords.

"Oi, be quiet up there! I'm trying to watch TeleTubbies!!" yelled Issacivan from the entertainment centre (they have an entertainment centre in these dorms…….cool).

"You're watching TeleTubbies?" said a stunned Evil Destroyer.

"……I shouldn't have said that" said Issacivan.

*More loud guitar noises*

"That's it you're going down now!!" yelled an archsage328.

"I'm with you on that" said Issacivan as he raced up to help archsage.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH" screamed Evil Destroyer.

**Back at Link's Dorm**

"That food should be just the right temperature now" said Saria as she walked through the entrance to the dorm.

"I can't wait to eat it now that my tongue has stopped burning" said Navi.

"I still can't believe that you managed to do that right after Saria said that the food was hot" remarked Leo.

"Shut up" said Navi.

"Saria went over to the pot to serve her own food when…….

"Huh, I'm sure that I made a full pot of stew, this is half empty" said Saria.

"Hey, I think I can hear the television in the entertainment centre" said Navi.

"Let's go" said Leo and the three ran into the mentioned area.

"Morning" Link and I said from our seats as we held our now empty bowls of stew (by the way, Link is now wearing his green tunic, just to really p*ss off ZM&R).

"You two were asleep when we left" exclaimed Navi (gee what excellent detective skills, Navi is really Sherlock Holmes in disguise).

"Well we're awake now" I said.

"And you ate most of our stew. The pot's now half empty" said Saria sternly.

"Well if you look at it from a positive side you could always argue that the pot is actually half-full" said Link.

"Why argue, just eat" I said matter-of-factly.

"This isn't helping guys" said Saria with a slight tone of annoyance in her voice.

"Oh and the stew was beautiful, but no-where as near beautiful as you" said Link sweetly (what a smoothy).

"Why thank you Link" said Saria before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Let's go to the competition" said Navi.

**2 Hours Later……Yay we finally got to the event**

"Hi and welcome to the very first event for the Hyrule Games" announced Dark Link.

"I still can't that Dark Link is somewhat good this time" said Link.

"Hey Link I see your still wearing your skirt" sneered Dark Link.

"Ok I believe it now, and it's a tunic!!!" said Link.

"Sure" Dark Link said sarcastically.

"Hey you're wearing the same thing too" I said.

"……..shut-up" said Dark Link.

"Seeing as D-L is incapable of announcing anything, I will do it" said Volvagia.

"Whoa, he actually talks" said Evil Destroyer.

"That's something you don't see everyday" said archsage328.

"Well when you listen to tales about dragons you will actually find that the majority of them are said to speak" said Issacivan.

"Urgh, hurt brain" groaned Robert.

"Boring information" JGRDL also groaned.

"_If these people don't shut-up I won't be able to concentrate on my trap for Navi_" thought DarthRevanShepard.

"The first event of the day will be a Super Smash Brothers style battle tournament. The order that the teams will fight in are:

Heroes of Time **vs.** We Baddies Love Each Other

P*ssed Off Link Fangirls Who Always Need Help From Link **vs. **Bunch of Crazed Authors.

Newbies To The Stories Who Also Always Need Link To Help Them **vs. **Evil Issacian ArchSage People.

Goddess's of Might **vs. **Champions

We expect you all to fight fairly" said Volvagia.

"Let the tournament begin!!!" shouted Dark Link"

**Round 1**

"Saria, you take Mido. LH, you take Majora and I'll take Ganondorf" said Link.

"Ok" said Saria.

"Why do I get the weird one?" I said.

"No time to explain, let's fight" said Link before drawing the master sword and charging Ganondorf.

They met with a clash of steel as their swords met.

"I will defeat you and your friends" said Ganondorf as he used his weight to push down on the master sword.

"Never" said Link as he disconnected the two swords and attacked in a whirlwind of fast strikes.

"You'll see who the better guy is now Saria" said Mido with a sneer.

"Shut-up and fight" said Saria as she hurled a green energy ball at Mido's face.

*ZAP*

"That's it. If I have to hurt you to show how good I am then I'll do it!!" shouted Mido before attacking with kicks and punches which Saria blocked most of with some protective spells.

"I'm gonna beat you easy, Majora. What do you have to say about that?" I said.

"Ookda da da" said Majora.

"WTF?!!"

Majora charged at me on his scrawny legs with whips drawn.

*SWISH, SWISH, CLANG, SLAP*

"Ow. That's going to cost you!!" I yelled.

"Is that the best you can do?" sneered Ganondorf as he blocked another one of Link's strikes.

"Never" said Link as he suddenly jumped over Ganondorf's head.

Ganon went to block a sword stroke but Link wasn't attacking him.

*SMASH, POWER-UP NOISE*

"This is the best I can do!!!" shouted Link as he absorbed the smash ball.

*SHING, SHINGM SHING, CLANG, WHACK, BAM, POW*

Ganondorf went flying off the edge of the stage and collapsed.

"You're using too much of your power Saria" said Mido as Saria staggered. "Looks like I'm going to beat you at something for once" said as he grabbed her arm.

"Hyaaa!!!" yelled Link as he leaped at Mido and hit him with his sword (note: you don't get cut in two or anything so you can be sliced with weapons, shot etc.)

"What?" said Mido in shock.

"Don't you ever grab Saria!!" yelled Link as he went into a fury of attacks.

"I'll do what I want" said Mido as he tripped Link, grabbed Saria and started to run.

"Hey Mido!!" shouted Link.

"What" said Mido as he turned while running.

*CLANG*

Link's shield slid of Mido's face leaving an imprint of the offending face. Mido collapsed on the ground unconscious and was thrown of the edge of the stage by Link.

"Are you ok Saria?" asked Link.

"Yeah, are we winning?" replied Saria.

Majora was running in circles around the now bored author.

"21, 22, 23, 24 ,25" I counted as Majora ran right by me again and again. "Ok I'm just going to end this" I said and stuck my hammer out.

*WHACK, THUMP*

Majora was clothes lined by my hammer.

"Seriously how stupid can you get?" I said before delivering a solid hit to Majora's head and knocking him out.

"AND THE WINNERS OF THIS FIGHT ARE 'HEROES OF TIME'!" yelled Volvagia.

"Yay!!" I said.

"Oh Hammer Boy I was so worried for you" said Nayru as she ran out from the crowd towards me.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH" I said and started to run away.

Well you can guess the result of the chase. No-one can beat a deity when it comes to a chase.

**FIGHT TWO!!!**

"Robert, you get Ruto. JGRDL, you get Malon and I'll get Zelda" said DarthRevanShepard.

"Ok" said JGRDL.

"Why do I get fish woman?" complained Robert.

"Because we don't want her" replied DRS.

"Cr*p" said Robert before going and fighting Ruto.

"I'll use my fantastic water powers on you and win Link" said Ruto.

*TWANG, WHACK*

An arrow stuck out one of Ruto's fins.

"NOW YOU DIE!" she screamed.

"EEEEEKKKK!!!"

"So it comes down to this" said Malon.

"Baseball Bat vs. Pitchfork" said JGRDL.

"Well you will not win because my pitchfork has got an improvement that will absolutely own your Baseball Bat" said Malon as she pulled out her pitchfork which had a………Mozart Wig? (Thanks JGRDL)

"I'll never give in" said JGRDL before drawing his Baseball Bat and Tazor Sword.

"May the best girl win" said Malon.

"Waaaaaait!!! I'm not a girl" said JGRDL.

"Could've fooled me" said Malon.

"I…Hate…You"

"So princess are you still obsessed with jewels?" said DRS.

"What's it to you?" sneered Zelda.

"This!!!" said DRS before pulling out her hockey stick which was now encrusted with jewels.

"Oooooo pretty" said Zelda.

*WHACK*

"They also make it hurt more" said DRS as Zelda came out of her daze.

"Now you've made me mad!!" yelled Zelda before she turned into a ball of light from which emerged………**SHIEK!!!**...........Ok I just wanted to do that.

"Nothing can save you now Robert" cackled Ruto.

*SMASH, POWER-UP*

"You guessed wrong" said a now glowing Robert.

"Oh sh*t" said Ruto.

"Hiya folks and welcome to Kareoke night" announced Robert as he held up his microphone.

"Huh?" said Ruto.

"Princess Ruto will now sing" announced Robert.

"Ok, ummmmmm. Hi people" said Ruto as she took the microphone.

"BOOOOOOO!!!" yelled an angry crowd as they suddenly mobbed Ruto and threw her off stage.

"WOW! I didn't know that was my final smash" said Robert before walking off to see what else he could do.

"My pitchfork is too good for you JGRDL" said Malon.

"Ugh, I can't lose" said JGRDL.

"You are getting weaker and weaker as the Mozart Wig powers up the pitchfork" said Malon.

"_Is this the end for me?_" though JDRDL.

*WHACK*

"Ow, what hit me?" said JGRDL.

"Ha, you just got hit by a cricket bat" said Malon.

*grin*

"It's not just a cricket bat Malon. It's MR. CRICKET BAT!!!" yelled JGRDL before hitting Malon for a six off stage.

"Thank you Mr. Cricket Bat" said JGRDL before bowing to the master and going to help DRS.

"We are pretty evenly matched" said Sheik.

"Neither of us is strong enough or quick enough to hit the other" said DRS. "If only there was something to incite my fury."

Suddenly a screaming Navi was thrown on top of Sheik's head by your friendly neighbourhood author *grin*.

"Bingo!!" said DRS before moving with such incredible speed and power that Sheik was stunned just by seeing it……. So now can you imagine how stunned she is after getting hit by it?

"THE SECOND FIGHT IS WON BY 'BUNCH OF CRAZED AUTHORS'!!" shouted Dark Link.

**Fight Number Three**

"So do we all understand the plan" said Issacivan.

"………………..sorry I lost the conversation after the first 'blah'" said Evil Destroyer.

"Let's just attack them!!" shouted archsage328 before running off to fight Tetra.

"Good idea" said Evil Destroyer before going to attack Midna.

"Well I guess this just leaves Medli for me to attack" said Issacivan.

"So what can a pirate do?" said archsage328.

"Plenty of things" said Tetra.

"You mean like doing nothing until the big bad guy is at his weakest and then claiming practically all the credit for shooting a few arrows while the real hero does all the work" said archsage328.

"No-body insults me and gets away with it!!" yelled Tetra.

*WHOOSH, THUMP*

"The wind doesn't have a body" smirked archsage as Tetra picked herself off the ground.

"DIE!!!" yelled Tetra.

"There's no way you will ever defeat me" said Midna.

"Are you sure about that" said Evil Destroyer.

"More than you'll ever know" said Midna before throwing some condensed Twilight at Evil Destroyer.

"Is that the best you can do?" said ED as he deflected the twilight using the gilded sword.

"That was just a warm up exercise" said Midna with that freaky grin of hers.

"Ummm, I'm not really all that good at this fighting stuff" said Medli.

"Ok, so don't fight then" said Issacivan.

"But I have to or Tetra and Midna will call me weak" said Medli.

"Well how bout we just pretend" said Issacivan.

"Ok" said Medli.

"See it's not too hard" said Issacivan as he fired an arrow off to Medli's side.

"Ummm…….thanks for this" she said. (Ok this seems to be a romantic scene……. What is going on here!!!?)

archsage328 shot himself to numerous locations using the longshot but Tetra was always just a little bit behind him with that sword of hers.

"Come back here" said Tetra.

"How bout you come to me" said archsage as he turned in mid-air and hooked Tetra. "Well what are you going to do now?"

*KISS*

"Huh?" said archsage as he pulled away. "Wow."

Tetra chose this moment to attack him while he was stunned.

*PUNCH*

"OW!! Ok you are going over the edge" said archsage before firing the longshot, with Tetra still attached off the edge of the screen.

"Time to go help Issacivan" he said.

"Why do you look like Link from my time?" said Midna.

"Because I want to" said Evil Destroyer.

"Well in that case, you will look good as a dog" said Midna before she threw a dark crystal at ED.

"Woof?" barked Evil Destroyer as he looked at his new wolf body.

"Now I can use you for transportation" said Midna before jumping onto his back.

*SPIN ATTACK*

Midna went flying off Evil Destroyer and over the edge of the stage. This also removed the dark crystal from ED's body, changing him back into human form.

"Man I'm glad that's over" said ED as he scratched his head. "I think I got flees."

"Well one of us is going to have to lose" said Issacivan as he did another fake attack on Medli.

"Yeah but who?" she said.

That question was answered when archsage328 came running around the corner with a powerful blast of wind which then knocked Medli on top of Issacivan.

"Ummm, hi" said Issacivan with a blush.

"Hi" said Medli as she picked herself up.

Unfortunately for her, the wind was still blowing and her wings folded out which then blew her off the stage.

"EVIL ISSACIAN ARCHSAGE PEOPLE WIN!!!!" Dark Link and Volvagia yelled together.

"Well we only have a few rounds left to fight for this part of the Games" said Link.

"I guess we should get as much rest as possible in the meantime" said Saria.

"I'LL KILL YOU FOR THROWING ME!!" yelled Navi.

*WHACK, BAM, POW, THUMP, HURTIES*

"I think that's going to be a bit hard for LinkHammer" said Leo.

*groan*

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Well what did you think? Review and tell me for while Iced Coffee may be my life blood, reviews are what makes my brain tick............I think. Well until the next chapter of random wackiness. CYA!


	8. Why Us Authors Are Useless

Yay I'm up to chapter 8. I don't own the Legend of Zelda. This is just a random question but have you guys n girls seen "Zelda UO" and "The Real Legend of Zelda"? Thos are both absoloutely fantastic flash animations. You have my recomendations for watching them.

Well enough rambling and onto the story!!

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**Link: Well that fighting sure was fun.**

**Ganondorf: I think it was a lousy test and so I didn't try hard.**

**Link: You're just saying that because I owned you in that round.**

**Ganondorf: No you didn't.**

**Everyone Else: Yeah he did.**

**Ganondorf: Bastards.**

**Saria: Well I won't use up too much of my power straight away next time.**

**Mido: I almost had you.**

**Saria: Well you didn't get me so BOOHOO SUCKS TO YOU!!**

**Tyler: You tell him Saria.**

**JGRDL: Yo it's good to see you Tyler.**

**Tyler: You were awesome out there man, kicking that Malon's butt with Mr. Cricket Bat.**

**JGRDL: Thanks.**

**Me: Well I have to say that it looks like the kind of scenario where I won't get hurt for once in this room………time to change that.**

**Leo: This won't be good.**

**Me: Yo Navi, did you enjoy your free flight to Sheik Land of the Falling Hockey Stick?**

**Navi: WHY YOU LITTLE *BEEEEEEEEEP***

**Me: Much better.**

**Zelda: So you made me get hit by DRS. I'LL KILL YOU TOO!!!**

**Malon: He introduced Mr. Cricket Bat which is why I lost. YOU NEED TO BE HURT!!!**

**Ruto: I know you did something to work against me. DIE!!!!!**

**Tetra: Allowing people to use the longshot should be illegal and because it's your story I'm going blame it on you. IT'S HURTY TIME!!!**

**Mida: I never get thrown off TP Link when he does a spin attack so I'll blame it on you for changing that. PREPARE FOR PAIN.**

**Medli: I need to practice my fighting so I'll be ready next time. I HOPE THIS HURTS AT LEAST A BIT!!!**

**Me: Whoa……This is better than I thought.**

**DarthRevanShepard: Should we help him?**

**Robert: You saw what happened last time.**

**Evil Destroyer: We were owned by those Zelda characters.**

**archsage328: And then we were saved by a bunch of monkeys.**

**Issacivan: The chances of monkeys appearing again are extremely small if you look at all of the blah, blah, blah, blah which ties in with the.**

**DRS: SHUT-UP!!**

**JGRDL: I'm going to help anyway!**

**Issacivan: Me two!**

**DRS: You can count me in!**

**Evil Destroyer: Might as well.**

**archsage328: The wind will help us.**

**Robert: I have a bad feeling about this.**

**DRS&JGRDL: CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!**

**And so the group of OC's ran towards the Zelda characters as fast as they could. JGRDL tripped over, archsage328 was thinking about which girls skirt he should blow upwards using the wind power and ran into a wall (dirty dirty). Robert didn't see the over hanging tree branch *WHACK*, Evil Destroyer saw some guys having a jam session and went to join then. Issacivan somehow managed to fall off a conveniently placed cliff. DarthRevanShepard somehow managed to reach the Zelda characters.**

**JGRDL: Stupid non-existing tree roots.**

**archsage328: Stupid wall now I've forgotten what I was thinking about (that's a relief)**

**Robert: Ok who put that branch there!! Innocent's like me never see those things until we hit them!**

**Evil Destroyer: *loud guitar noises* I am the best in the world, no-one can ever be better than me!!**

**Issacivan:……………why do I have to fall off the cliff?**

**DarthRevanShepard: Time for you to die Navi!!**

**Navi: Zelda Characters you can attack LinkHammer, this one's mine.**

***WHACK, BAM, POW, ZAP, BOOM, PIKACHU (WTF?)***

**Navi: You'll never win!!**

**DRS: I just have *cage falls on top of Navi***

**JGRDL: YAY YOU DID IT!!!**

**archsage328: I remember now *WHOOSH*………heh heh heh.**

**Robert: CHAINSAW!!!..........Now no-one will run into that branch again**

***WHACK***

**Robert: WHAT? ANOTHER ONE!!!**

**Evil Destroyer: Did I miss something?..........*loud guitar noises***

**Issacivan: *phew* finally I'm back where everyone else is………*falls another cliff* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH**

***THUMP***

**Issacivan: This isn't funny**

**DarthRevanShepard: Yay I beat Navi!!! Now I can sell her on Ebay for heaps of cash.**

**Link: I've been left out of most of this chapter.**

**Saria: It's not fair, we're the main characters.**

**Leo: People should be more considerate of us.**

**Link: Well I guess everything's still fine though.**

**Saria: Yeah, everyone was kept in good condition when they weren't talking about us.**

**Leo:Yeah…………hey where's LinkHammer.**

**Zelda Characters: ATTACK!!!!**

***WHACK, BAM, POW, ZAP, BOOM, THUMP, HURTIES, MORE HURTIES, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THE HURTIES? WHACK***

**Me:………..The agony**

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Well there finishes yet another chapter. Ok now the thing is that this is a really challenging story structure for me and it's been hard to come up with ideas. I've been thinking 'Zelda' but every idea I have doesn't fit in with this story and the thing is that they are what I think to be brilliant ideas. I'm going to write a new story and as such you may not see an update for this story for a long time, but don't worry. This won't turn into one of those stories that are discontinued (I hate it when they do that). I will eventually come back and finish this story but until then I'm afraid you'll have to wait. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME OR HATE ME!!!!

So don't be disappointed and if your stress level is rising then go watch Zelda UO or The Real Legend Of Zelda, they should relieve you.

This is LinkHammer signing out for now.


	9. UPDATE: YAY!

Hiya readers. I though that I should give you another chapter or two seeing as you are all being so patient with this one. I'd like to thank all of you for reading this and not destroying me when I said I would put the story on hold (I really thought that many of you would). I have decided to open up with a mini Zelda Chat Room chapter just for the heck of it and am putting the main chapter next. Well that should be enough of me annoying you by just talking and not letting you read the story so let's get on with it!!

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ps: I don't own the legend of Zelda (hope that annoyed you)

_________________________________________________________________________________________

**Me: I'm back!**

**Link: It's about time.**

**Saria: We were getting bored.**

**Navi: That's right, how long has it been since you last updated this story?**

**Me:…………………I don't know.**

**Leo: But you're the author, you should know!**

**Me: Well what's the point in keeping track of the time? It's not like anything bad has happened to you guys while I've been gone.**

**Link: Well everyone basically went along fine and are just doing whatever they please while waiting for you.**

**Me: See.**

**Saria: Ummm, Nayru has sort of gone on a rampage trying to find you.**

**Leo: She had gone and destroyed a couple of kingdoms that said they had information about you but refused to tell her.**

**Navi: She has been asking all of us if we know where you are and it's starting to drive me crazy.**

**Me: You mean you aren't already. Wow could have fooled me.**

***WHACK***

**Navi: That felt so good.**

**Zelda: Link is still hanging around that Saria girl.**

**Malon: Why did LinkHammer have to put them together during LVD?**

**Ruto: Just to try and make the girl happy and then crush her dreams when he finally reveals that he really wants me and Link to be together.**

**Zelda: Mostly right except he wants it to be Link and me.**

**Malon: No, it's me whom will end up with Link.**

**Midna: Hey calm down girls, you know that he wants me.**

**Tetra: Oh please. As if he would ever want a Twili.**

**Midna: Well why would he want another girl who he has to save?!**

**Tetra: Because he and I are destined to be together.**

**ZMaRT&Mi: *WHACK, THUMP, FIGHTING OVER LINK NOISES***

**Din: Let's go see Link and Saria.**

**Farore: Anything to get away from Nayru.**

**Nayru: I'm coming with you just incase Hammer Boy is back.**

**Din: He won't be back!**

**Farore; He's too busy doing other stuff to even care about anyone here.**

**Nayru: He'll come back for me!**

***POOF, POOF, POOF***

**Saria: Hey look Link, it's the Din, Farore and…………oh oh.**

**Link: What do you mean by………this won't be good.**

**Leo: LH I advise you hide.**

**Me: Where?**

**Navi: I don't know, how about that conveniently placed and totally obvious bush.**

**Me: Perfect!**

**Din: Sorry to disturb you all but we needed some time out.**

**Farore: It's really boring up there right now and Nayru has reprogrammed my tracking device to find LinkHammer.**

**Link: Well he's not anywhere near here.**

**Saria: Yep, haven't seen him for ages.**

**Leo: Almost forgotten that he exists.**

**Navi: And he's definitely not hiding in that conveniently placed bush over there.**

**Bush:……………**_**I'll get that fairy (that was thinking not speaking)**_

**Nayru: Wait……HAMMER BOY!!!! I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK FOR ME!!!!**

**Bush: sh*t**

***GLOMP, HUG, CUDDLE, DOUBLE GLOMP, KISS***

**Me: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!**

**Nayru: We have so much to catch up on, let's go.**

**Me: *whimper***

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Din: Well at least that will keep Nayru happy and away from us for a while.**

**Farore: Yeah, I don't think I could have survived another day of "WHERE IS HAMMER BOY"**

**Link: At least everything is back to abnormal again.**

**Saria: As soon as LinkHammer manages to get away from Nayru he can continue with the adventure.**

**Navi: And I can start hitting him again.**

**Leo: Still I feel sorry for the guy.**

**Others:………Nah**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Issacivan: Hey guys, I heard that LinkHammer is back.**

**archsage328: Well he took his time, I'm glad I asked him to update soon.**

**Evil Destroyer: Now we can finally get back to the games.**

**Robert: Goody, I've been practising!**

**JGRDL: YEAH BABY!!!..................I just overdid it then didn't I?**

**DarthRevanShepard: Yeah just a little bit but who cares? Now I can finally DESTROY NAVI!!!**

**Others: Now who's overdoing it?**

**DarthRevanShepart:………shut-up.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Ganondorf: When I find that puny author I shall destroy him with my awesome dark power! Nobody keeps the Dark Lord waiting for another chapter.**

**Mido: I can just tell that we will get a main part in the next chapter.**

**Majora: Yeah because we are just the best and I really look good wherever I stand.**

**Me: HEY I'M NOT HAVING YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPTER GUYS AND MAJORA, YOU LOOK REALLY UGLY WHEREVER YOU STAND!!!! *said while running past as I somehow managed to escape from Nayru.......don't asked me how cause even I don't know***

**GM&M: MUST DESTROY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Navi: Hey look, listen! Ganondork, Mini Mido and Majorass are trying to hurt LinkHammer............cya guys but this is a job for NAVI!!!!**

**Link: She didn't just go to help LH did she?**

**Saria: Nah, she wants to help the others bash him.**

**Leo: This can't be a good welcome back author celebration for him can it?**

***WHACK, THUMP, SNAP, CRACK, CRUNCH, SMASH***

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Well I hope you all enjoyed that because I think I may have lost a bit of my touch with this kind of writing. Oh well. Please review and tell me what you think of this because it really means alot to me.

CYA!!!


	10. ROUND TWO!

Ok, now it's time for some ACTION!!!................I don't own the Legend of Zelda. Ok I don't have much to say except that I am glad that Daylight Savings has finally ended over here now (WOOHOO). Also have you guys heard about the new Zelda game for the DS? Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. I reckon it's just a game made to keep us happy while we wait for a Zelda game made specially for the Wii.......or that's what I hope. Well enough talking and more reading.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

**Super Smash Round 2**

"That was an excellent first round of fighting there. Unfortunately the losing teams won't be allowed to compete in this round of fighting and will only be awarded 10 points for competing" Dark Link said with a small clap of his hands.

"Our second round is bound to be even more exciting as the winners fight each other and even the goddesses enter the brawl!" Volvagia announced in an excited voice.

"Here are the groups that you will be battling in:"

"Heroes of Time vs. Goddesses of Might!!"

"Bunch of Crazed Authors vs. Evil Issacian ArchSage People!!"

"LET THE FIGHTING BEGIN!!" Volvagia and Dark Link yelled together.

**To the Fighting Arena**

"Ok so we need to fight those other authors" JGRDL said.

"Well we saw their fighting style and it's easy to see what their weaknesses are" DarthRevanShepard said confidently.

"Yeah but they might just surprise us so we should be careful" Robert said cautiously.

"…………..nah" DRS said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"You are impossible to work with" Robert said with annoyance.

"Stop bickering and let's go!" JGRDL said.

"Ok guys this is going to be an intense battle" archsage328 said.

"We'll win for sure" Evil Destroyer said as he leaned on his guitar.

"Never underestimate your enemy. If you look at many of the famous warriors who died you will find that it was through overconfidence and" Issacivan started to say.

"I knew that!" Evil Destroyer butted in before Issacivan could go into to much detail.

"Let's go guys" archsage328 said before turning towards the battle arena.

The two groups lined up in their battle positions. Evil Destroyer held onto the neck of his guitar while DarthRevanShepard twirled her hockey stick around. Issacivan pulled out the Ordon Sword and swung it a few times before accidentally tripping over. Robert swung his own sword around and tested his microphone. archsage328 sent little swirls of wind around the make some nearby flags flutter. JGRDL twirled Mr. Baseball bat around and adjusted his monocle. Tension started to build as Dark Link walked to a small podium right in the centre of the arena. He looked from one team to the other before pulling a shiny silver whistle out of his non-existent pocket. Putting the whistle to his lips he took a breath and then blew.

*BOINKLESPLURT!!!!!!!!!*

Off on the sidelines the audience just looked at Dark Link as he scratched his head in puzzlement and Volvagia tried to stifle his laughter (not easy for a dragon).

"That was weird" Saria said to Link.

"I have an idea about how that happened" Link said as he looked at a certain author.

"……….what?" I said as I twirled a small shiny silver whistle around. Strangely enough it looked just like Dark Link's whistle (what a coincidence).

*WHACK*

"OW!" I said as I rubbed my face.

"You have to learn that you shouldn't tamper with the games" Navi said.

"Awwww Man!!"

**Back in the Arena……………we never left anyway………did we?**

JGRDL swung Mr. Baseball bat at archsage328 who jumped over JG's head using the wind.

"So its power against agility is it?" JG said as he circled archsage328.

"Nope, the wind is also powerful" archsage328 said before sending a gust of wind at JGRDL, knocking him over.

"You are going to pay for that!" JDRDL said as he picked himself up and charged at archsage328.

"Who will win out of my guitar and your hockey stick?" Evil Destroyer said as he circled DRS.

"Well I believe that my hockey stick will definitely beat your guitar" DRS said as she went in for a quick strike to ED's leg.

*CRACK*

"OW!! Ok now I'm angry and you don't want to see me angry" ED said.

"You don't want to see me when I get angry at seeing other people angry" DRS said before charging attacking once more.

*CLANG*

Robert's and Issacivan's swords met with a clang (we already know that!).

"I am so going to beat you" Robert said with a grin.

"On the contrary, I'm going to beat you" Issacivan said with the same grin.

"Bring it on nerd boy!" Robert said before leaping forward and bringing his sword down to hit Issacivan.

*CLANG*

"You're going to have to try harder if you want to bring down this nerd" Issacivan said with another grin.

*WHOOSH*

"Ha, your wind attacks are getting weaker" JGRDL laughed as he brushed aside the gust of wind.

"How can you resist the wind?" archsage328 panted as he leaned against a wall to catch his breath.

"I don't know but it has to be something cool" JGRDL smirked.

**Warning: Eating 10 gallons of cabbage pudding makes you highly resistant to the wind!!**

"That's just disgusting!" archsage328 said as he looked at the sudden message that somehow appeared in front of everyone.

"Who cares, say goodbye now!!" JGRDL said before hitting archsage328 across the arena, over the podium where he slammed into Dark Link and then kept sailing through the air and off stage.

Dark Link picked himself up then went to stand back on the podium as Volvagia tried to hold in his laughter………again.

DRS and ED were fighting like wild things, with their chosen weapons speeding through the air like lighting………..ok we'll stop fast forwarding the fight.

"This is so easy, you fight like a girl" ED said with a laugh.

*SLAP*

"That's because I am a girl and now you have really p*ssed me off!!" DRS said slamming her hockey stick into ED's guitar as hard as she could.

"MY GUITAR!!" ED cried as he looked at his now dented and pretty messed up guitar.

"Hmmmm, is this a bobomb?" DRS said as she looked at the small walking bomb going past her. "Time to practice my goal shooting!" she said before hitting the bobomb straight at the weeping ED.

*BOOM……….little body parts falling from the sky noises……SPLAT?*

"………I killed him!" DRS said as she looked at the various parts of flesh.

"NO THAT WAS JUST SOMETHING I ADDED FOR EXTRA EFFECT!" Volvagia yelled as he picked up the live ED and threw him off the stage.

"I am not going to be beaten by some nerd!" Robert said as he swung his sword at Issacivan again.

*POWER-UP NOISES*

"Oh yes you are!" the glowing Issacivan smirked as he readied his final smash……."AND NOW IT'S TIME TO FINISH YOU OFF WITH USELESS TRIVIA QUESTIONS!!" (watch Metal Gear Crisis on newgrounds. I'll make my own questions but I got the idea from that flash animation)

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

"If people say that smoking kills you, then why is it that 100% of all non-smokers die?"

"Why don't we see more physics winning the lottery?"

"What do women want?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" Robert screamed before running away from Issacivan, into the podium knocking Dark Link off again, and then off stage.

"Oh Yeah!! I beat someone" Issacivan said as he did a little victory dance.

*TAP, TAP*

"Huh………..oh oh" Issacivan said as he looked at a smirking JGRDL and DarthRevanShepard.

**CENSORED FOR UNNECCESARY VIOLENCE…………what am I saying? Cue the Violence!!!!**

*WHACK, THUMP, SNAP CRACKLE POP, CRACK, HURTIES, PERSON FLYING OFF STAGE AND TAKING DARK LINK OUT ALONG THE WAY NOISES*

"AND THE WINNERS ARE _'BUNCH OF CRAZED AUTHORS'_" Volvagia announced as Dark Link was taking a much needed nap on the arena floor.

**HEROES OF TIME vs. GODDESSES OF MIGHT!!**

"Ok this is going to be a real tough battle so I suggest that you and I stick together Saria" Link said.

"Ok Link, nothing can stop us" Saria said with a grin.

"Hey what about me?" I said.

"You can fend for yourself, I'm sure you can take on a goddess" Link said with a smile.

"I hate you right now."

"Link and I will take on Din and Farore so that means you take Nayru LH" Saria said before turning to face the goddesses.

"I really hate you two right now" I said.

"Well we all hate you too" Navi said to me as she appeared from nowhere.

*WHACK*

"Stupid fairy should keep quiet.

"Well this will be interesting fighting you two" Din said as she conjured some fireballs.

"Both of you have some of our powers and have your own little skills" Farore said as she made some vines appear in her hands like whips.

Din suddenly threw a fire ball at Link who hit it at Farore with the master sword (kind of a TwinRova battle here).

At the same time Farore had lashed out at Saria who summoned an emerald disk to cut the whips before they could reach her.

"Bring it on god girls" Link said with a smile.

"Nothing can stop me and Link when we're together" Saria said as she readied a spell.

"Well see about that" Din said with a small laugh.

"May the best fighters win" Farore said before launching a set of spells towards Link and Saria.

The battle was on.

"Hiya Hammer Boy" Nayru said as she walked up to me.

"Could you just jump off stage because I really shouldn't hurt you" I said as I backed away from Nayru.

"How could you hurt me when I have this" Nayru said before sending a blue orb in a random direction.

*POWER-UP NOISE*

"NAYRU'S LOVE!"

"_Ok I can't hurt her while she's protected by that barrier……… wait that isn't Nayru's Love_" I thought.

*HERE COMES THE BRIDE MUSIC*

"Crap where'd this church, priest and everything else suddenly appear from" I said as I looked around before trying to run away. I was stopped by some big ugly guy which reminds me of the 'Three Musketeers' movie (WHOA UGLY!!)

"Well time for you to marry me Hammer Boy" Nayru said with a wink.

*whimper*(Man she's worse than Ruto is with Link)

Link's clothing was slightly singed and Saria had small whip marks on her arms and legs. Farore was leaning against a wall recovering from the blast of energy that Saria had sent at her along with a fireball that Link had hit at her as well.

"Farore are you ok" Din said as she continued to attack Link and Saria.

"No……I must withdraw from this fight sister" Farore said before teleporting away in a green flash of light.

"Well Din, it's two against one and I haven't warmed up yet" Link said with a grin.

"I can keep fighting for a while longer" Saria said.

Din was distracted by Link slashing in at her side which she blocked with a quick spell. However this left her defences open and a supercharged ball of Forest energt slammed into the goddess and sent her flying off the stage and into the judges stand where Dark Link had earlier retired to hoping that he wouldn't get hurt again………like that will ever come true.

"Are you alright after that spell Saria" Link said as he quickly fussed over her cuts and bruises.

"I'm fine Link but we should really go and help LinkHammer before he gets married against his will in that church that Nayru summoned up" Saria said before grabbing Link by the hand and rushing off to help me.

"Do you Nayru take this guy, LinkHammer to be your lawfully wedded author?" the priest said.

"I do" Nayru said as she looked at me.

"And do you LinkHammer take Nayru to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the priest said.

At that moment Link and Saria barged in and quickly tackled Nayru to the ground.

"Need some help there LinkHammer" Link said.

"I sure do………I did not just use those words then did I?"

"I now pronounce you author and…" the priest began to say.

"Hold up priesty guy, if I can get someone to say 'I object' within the next 30 seconds then this wedding is cancelled" I said.

Link and Saria were to busy fighting Nayru to say anything and it wasn't like anyone else would help.

"Hey Navi!! You are the most annoying fairy in the entire universe!!" I yelled.

"I object to that statement!!" Navi yelled back.

"YES YOU JUST SAVED ME NAVI!!!"

*WHACK, PUNCH, THUMP*

"Thankyou……………*collapsing noise*"

**A few moments of awesome Link & Saria beating goddess butt later**

"AND THE WINNERS OF THIS ROUND ARE 'HEROES OF TIME!!!'" Volvagia yelled as he gave smelling salts to Dark Link. "Our final Super Smash Battle will be between 'Heroes of Time' and 'Bunch of Crazed Authors' after we have a quick recovery period. All the teams who lost this round get 20 points for getting here anyway."

"That was a close one" I said.

"Well you should be more careful with what you say LH" Saria said.

"Everyone keeps telling him that and he still doesn't listen" Navi said.

"I'm sure he's learned his lesson now" Leo said.

"HEY, IS THAT YOUR HAIR OR DO YOU HAVE A DOG ON YOUR HEAD?!!!"

"Here we go again" Link said as he shook his head.

*WHACK, THUMP, CRACK, SNAP*

"…………the agony"

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Well there you go, another chapter made for the Hyrule Games. Well I hope this will keep you happy until I update next. So please review as much as you want and until we meet again:

_"Adios Amigos, and keep smiling!!"_


	11. FINAL ROUND!

................hello................is everybody still alive..............you are?...............DAMN!!!!!! Ok we finally have another chapter here, let me hear you say YAY!!!...........oh you will have to put that in a review. Well I'm sorry that I have been so late with the updating in my story but over the holidays I was kidnapped by aliens, saved a far distant race of humans on the other side of the galaxy and RAN OUT OF ICED COFFEE!!............ok so I have been plain old lazy. Well I should probably put in the disclaimer by I'm not sure if I have the willpower. Maybe I should.....nah that won't work. Or maybe........definitely no...........ok here it goes.....I do not own the Legend of Zelda, but man do I enjoy writing about it.

Ok I have probably greatly annoyed all of you so before I get hurt even more. So on with the story.

P.S: This chapter is guarenteed to make you laugh at least once. If you don't laugh you get your money back.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

**Super Smash Final Round!!**

"Hiya folks and welcome back to the Hyrule Games first event, 'Super Smash Bash!!!' Today we have seen grand fights between our teams of contestants and now, finally, after much hard work, sweat and blood, we are up to the final round. The two strongest fighting teams will face of against each other to see who will be known as Smash Champ of the games. Be prepared to witness 'Heroes of Time' and 'Bunch of Crazed Authors' fight to the finish!!" Volvagia said as he stood amongst a group of Television Cameras.

"………….since when have they had televisions and cameras here in Hyrule?" I asked.

"They don't but I read your diary where I found out about them and told everyone that we should make replicas out of cardboard boxes" Navi said.

"ummmm, I don't have a diary" I said with confusion.

**Meanwhile Elsewhere**

"WHERE THE HELL HAS MY DIARY GONE?!!" EvilDestoryer yelled.

"You have a diary?" Issacivan said with a smile.

"Yes and now I want it back from whoever took it!" ED growled.

"Well I don't know where it is so ha!" Issacivan said just to taunt ED.

"Ladies calm down" said archsage328"

"……..Let's get him" said Issacivan.

"Agreed" ED said before cracking his knuckles and walking towards archsage328.

**Back to the Main Storyline…………..you mean we actually have one?**

"This is going to be the battle of the century folks; the two best fighting teams in existence. On one side we have a large variety of skills, creativeness and power for the 'Bunch of Crazed Authors'. However, they are matched against the skills of the Hero of Time and the strange powers of the Forest Sage. Then we have… er, what does that guy have?" Dark Link said.

"THE AWESOME POWERS OF RANDOMNESS FUELLED BY HIS DESIRE TO DESTROY DAYLIGHT SAVINGS AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES; BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY TO DRINK ICED COFFEE!!!" Volvagia yelled out suddenly to answer Dark Link's question.

".......... you need to get out more often Vol" Dark Link said.

"Who cares!! We have an event to announce!" Volvagia yelled again.

"…._why did I give him this job?_" Dark Link thought.

"Now on with the fight!" Volvagia announced.

"But it hasn't started yet" some random audience member said.

"Well it should start soon. Now the teams are preparing their tactics in the arena" Dark Link announced.

**In The Arena**

"Ok this is going to be the hardest fight of them all" JGRDL said.

"We already figured that one out by ourselves JG" said Robert.

"Well I just wanted to say it anyway so as to make the situation seem even more important" said JGRDL.

"Stop talking about how hard the battle will be and describe what we do in the fight" DarthRevanShepard said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Ok. Now we know that Link will stick close to Saria but LH will go solo and run around to whatever area he wants" said JGRDL.

"What has that got to do anything with our fighting plans?" asked Robert.

"I know where this is going, if I may explain?" said DRS. After a nod from JGRDL she continued to talk. "Well one person can distract Link and Saria while the other two take down LH and then go back to help the third party member if he's still in the fight."

"What do you mean by he?" said Robert.

"Well I'm not going to attack Link and Saria by myself, I'd much rather take down LH" said DRS.

"I'm with you on that one" said JGRDL. "Looks like you are by yourself Robert."

"But" Robert began.

"No buts, the fight is about to begin" said DRS.

"..........I hate you two right now" said Robert.

**A Few Moments Later………why do we need this announcement thing for a short amount of time? A few hours I can understand but a few moments!**

"LET THE FIGHTING BEGIN!!" Volvagia yelled.

"You're enjoying this too much" Dark Link said as he shook his.

"You're going down LH" said DRS as her and JGRDL circled me.

"This is going to be awesome, beating up the main author" said JGRDL.

"You're going to need some skill to beat me" I said with a smug grin.

*WHACK, BAM*

DarthRevanShepard's hockey stick and JGRDL's baseball bat came down upon the head of 'you know who'………no not Voldemort, this is LoZ not HP……_Twits_.

Link juggled his sword and shield while watching Robert and Saria pulled out her Ocarina and started playing her song. Robert looked at them with disbelief.

"This is insulting me guys, you aren't even bothering to attack me" Robert said.

"Why should we? There's only one of you and two of us" said Saria.

"We would crush you in a few seconds" Link said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You're just afraid of me; come on I dare you to attack me!" Robert said defiantly.

No sooner had the words left his mouth then…….

*CLANG, BOOM*

Link had thrown the Hylian shield right into Robert's face with an emerald fireball following close behind, curtesy of Saria.

*THUMP*

"Ok, change of plans; don't attack me" Robert said from his new position on the ground.

DRS and JGRDL closed in on LH (I'm referring to myself in third person now) then DRS suddenly went in with a flurry of lightning fast attacks. As LH was blocking those, JGRDL came in from the back and brought Mr. Baseball Bat in a massive swing that took out LH's legs and left LH lying on the ground, vulnerable to any attack. Quickly rolling over and gaining his feet, LH went on the offensive, scoring hits against the other two authors while driving them towards the edge of the arena…BAD MISTAKE.

*SMASH, POWER-UP NOISE*

JGRDL was glowing and an evil grin spread across his face.

"HAHAHAHA, PREPARE FOR THE BEST FWIEND HUG OF DOOM!!!" he laughed maniacally.

Time slowed down for everyone else as JG quickly assembled an awesome robot complete with chicken launchers and an espresso machine though it never uses them. The robot then engulfed LinkHammer in a massive, bone crunching hug (hence the name of the attack). As the non-existent damage gauge built up JGRDL continued to laugh. The robot then released LH and…….did nothing?

"Hey it's supposed to explode!" JGRDL said as he searched for the instruction manual he had used.

20, 19, 18, 17…

"_It's on a timer, I can use this to my advantage……or fun…….fun it is!_" I thought (yep back to 1st person).

"Hey Navi, take this over to Ganondorf, Mido and Majora!" I yelled.

"Ok LH" said Navi who flew over and picked up the robot (she's been working out) and flew over the the evil trio.

*KABOOM!!!*

"hehehe."

*SMASH, POWER-UP NOISE*

A glowing DarthRevanShepard stood before me.

"oh sh*t"

**This is rated T and this is a bit to violent even for T……not really but I can't be bothered to write about it so sue me………NO DON'T YOU DARE!!!**

"AAAAHHHHHHH………..*THUMP*"

"And LinkHammer is out of the fight leaving two against three!!" Dark Link announced to the crowd.

"THAT WAS SO AWESOME HOW THEY GOT RID OF LINKHAMMER, I THINK WE NEED AN ACTION REPLAY!!!" Volvagia yelled.

Dark Link's left eye started twitching for some strange reason.

"How can we do an action replay if we don't have recording devices?" some random audience member asked.

"WITH MY AWESOME POWERS!!" Volvagia yelled again.

*WHACK, BAM, POW*

"Judge Volvagia is taking a much needed time out right now" Dark Link announced as he brushed the dirt and blood from his black tunic (I'm not sure how you can brush fresh blood of clothing but he did it). "Now let's get back to this titanic battle for power!"

After seeing that they were now one team member short for the moment, Link and Saria decided to even the odds. Guess who was in the direct firing line… Robert looked at Link and Saria with a terror on his face.

Link charged Robert while Saria conjured some vines to entangle the now fleeing author. After tripping over the vines and turning over, Robert rolled over to see a grinning Link doing a little goodbye wave.

*whimper*

*WHACK, POW, SLAM, KO!!*

Robert went flying across the stage, bowling over DRS and JGRDL in the process before sailing off the edge and landing amongst a group of four soot covered people (you know who they are).

DRS and JGRDL picked themselves up then looked at Link and Saria. Link charged JG but JG sidestepped and tripped Link who rolled when he hit the ground and was immediately back on his feet blocking a blow from DRS. Saria proceeded to hurl a few emerald fireballs and the two authors scoring a few hits though most were dodged. As Link quickly blocked an overhead swing from DRS, JGRDL brought Mr. Baseball Bat in to the side and knocked Link along the floor, stunning him. Saria ran to reach Link but was too late as DRS and JGRDL delivered devastating blows to Link, sending the Hero flying off the stage to slam into Dark Link (Ha!! try to block that attack Dark Link).

At this point in time Volbagia managed to wake up and started his 'announcing' again.

"WOW!! THIS FIGHT IS AMAZING! THE HERO OF TIME IS OUT OF THE FIGHT LEAVING ONLY THE FOREST SAGE TO BATTLE IT OUT AGAINST TWO CRAZED AUTHORS. WILL SARIA WIN OR WILL THE AUTHORS WIN THIS ROUND MAKING THEM THE CHAMPIONS OF THE SUPER SMASH TOURNAMENT? FIND OUT IN OUR NEXT EXCITING INSTALLMENT OF THE HYRULE GAMES!!!"

**USELESS CLIFFHANGER………………………..not really.**

"Shut-up you 'Infernal Subterranean Lava Dragon'!!!" Dark Link yelled as he leapt onto Volvagia and started beating him up.

"I'm with you on that one DL" said Robert before joining the dark shadow with his attacks against the extremely annoying dragon……..hey maybe we've found a match for Navi. It's a win win situation because Navi will find love and go away. Either that or Volvagia will eat Navi which means we still don't have to put up with her. As I said 'win, win' whatever the end situation…….YES!!!!!!!

"Well folks, it looks like we have our own little fight going on here in the commentators box but we don't need to worry about that" I said as I put on a headset and sipped my iced coffee. "But enough from up here, over to you Link.

**Switch Camera Frame to Near the Arena**

"Thank you LinkHammer. We have a really interesting series of events occurring here today folks. Right now the odds are two to one, literally and it looks like Saria, the last remaining member of 'Heroes of Time' may not win. The odds are stacked in the favour of 'Bunch of Crazed Authors' who still have two members left able to fight. DarthRevanShepard and JGRDL are giving it their all, not whishing to give up their possible claim on being the champions of this round. Only time will tell what happens and I'm afraid that the flux capacitor (Back to the Future reference) located in the pedestal of time is currently in for repairs (how else can you explain Link's time travel with the master sword apart from the completely logical and sensible explanation that Nintendo presented to us during the game).

"Hey we might actually win this thing" JGRDL said with excitement.

"We'll have to start practicing our victory dance" DarthRevanShepard said with an early punch of victory.

"Only a miracle can save her now" Leo said from the sidelines (hello Leo, I haven't mentioned you for ages).

**Cue the Miracle**

*SMASH, POWER-UP NOISE*

"POWER OF THE FOREST, COME TO ME!!" Saria yelled as she concentrated on the rush of power given to her by the smash ball.

"This can't be good" JGRDL said as he prepared himself for the very worst that could happen.

A magical breeze arose and with it came some forest leaves along with an ancient and 'wise' *cough cough* voice.

"Saria, thou hast summoned me, the Deku Tree" the voice said.

"Ha, that is pathetic. Come on JG we can win easily now" said DarthRevanShepard with a grin on her face.

"I was expecting vines and trees to appear and beat the living daylights out of us, but the Great Deku Tree's voice? That's a laugh!" said JGRDL before walking towards Saria.

"Ah, I have an audience to preach my words of wisdom to" said the Great Deku Tree's voice. "Long, long ago I was but an ordinary tiny sprout growing in the newly created land of Hyrule, then one day blah blah blah blah blah……."

"ARGH, the agony of listening to long boring speeches that you can't skip through" said DarthRevanShepard as she clutched her ears.

"Don't worry DRS, we can stand up to this one. I won't let one boring speech stop me from being the winner" said JGRDL with a determined clench of his jaw.

Suddenly a character previously unmentioned in this story appeared on the scene.

"Hoo Hoo. Did I hear a long boring speech being made?" Kaepora Gaebora the big, fat, annoying, useless, pathetic,

**Ten Minutes Later**

ugly, meaningless, freaky, obsessed and mind numbingly boring owl.

"You just had to say that **one** useless speech wouldn't stop us. Now you've jinxed us and landed us with the potential for another one!" shouted DRS.

"The owl will leave, there's no chance of him ever making a speech here" said JGRDL with a confident grin.

"Did I hear someone say that I won't make a boring speech, why that is against my programming and complete existence in life. I must make up for that and start straight away" said Kaepora Gaebora and soon his voice was droning along with the Deku Tree's while Saria sat down with her i-pod and read a magazine.

*WHACK*

"Ow what was that for?!" said JGRDL as he rubbed his face.

"FOR JINXING US AGAIN!!" DRS screamed in anger.

"and then the little chipmunk decided that it would spend the winter in my upper branches which really started to annoy me but I couldn't do anything magical for another hundred years which was a really interesting period of time as…" the Deku Tree droned on.

"and every Sunday afternoon, the Gerudo go skinny dipping in their secret swimming hole located a few kilometres north of their fortress which was built in…" said Kaepora Gaebo…….that owl.

If you were to look very carefully you could see a few male authors *cough cough* and characters writing in convenient little notepads made specifically for this purpose (for once the owl actually gave us useful information *wink wink, nudge nudge*).

All this useless information was too much for DRS and she ran screaming off the edge. Suddenly a flying hammer hit the owl over the head and at the same moment Saria's spell finished and the Great Deku Tree's voice faded away.

"Well that was really interesting there folks" I said from the announcer's box which just appeared. "What do you think Link?"

"I have to agree with you there LH, that was the craziest final smash I've ever seen. Now it is one on one and anyone could win now" Link announced.

"HEY YOU STOLE MY ANNOUNCING JOB!!" yelled Dark Link before tackling Link and throwing a dark orb of energy, hitting me right on the noggin (aka: head, for those of you who may have been thinking otherwise).

**Back to the Fight**

"So it has finally come down to this" said JGRDL. "one on one, you against me, hombre a hombre." (if you need a translation; hombre a hombre means_ 'man to man'_)

"You're forgetting something there JG" said Saria.

"What?"

"I'm not a man" Saria said before hurling a green ball of condensed energy straight into JGRDL's face. This was followed in quick succession by several more blasts of emerald magic each hitting JGRDL and knocking him closer to the edge. As JGRDL tried to recover, Saria ran in close and kicked him in the shins.

"That was for Link!" she yelled before slamming JG with the full force of her powers, sending the author flying off the stage and through the air for a kilometre before he came to land next to a cow chewing some grass.

"And the winner is Saria!!!" Dark Link yelled.

"WHAT A BATTLE THAT WAS! I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED IT WAS SO FAST! IT SEEMED THAT PARTS OF THE BATTLE FLASHED BY SO QUICK I DIDN'T SEE THEM!!! yelled Volvagia.

*WHACK, BAM, POW*

"Stay down you miserable overgrown lizard!!" Dark Link yelled as he once again wiped a mess of blood from his tunic (however you do that).

**Over to the Winning Team YAY!!!!**

"Saria!" Link shouted before running over and grabbing Saria, picking her up and twirling around.

"You were fantastic out there" said Leo with a grin on his fairy face.

"I rated that last move 10 out of 10" I said as I took a drink from my iced coffee.

"Well I couldn't have done it without you guys" Saria said with a happy smile.

"…..umm you did kinda do it without us" I pointed out.

"I mean as in being a team" said Saria with a slight giggle of laughter.

"You need a prize and so I'm taking you out to dinner tonight Saria, just the two of us" Link said with a grin.

"And because it's Sunday afternoon I have to go somewhere" I said before starting to walk off.

"No you're staying here with me and Navi to look after the place" said Leo before pulling out his Imperial Blaster Rifle (he likes Star Wars).

"……I hate you"

_________________________________________________________________________________________

So what'cha think? Did you laugh?.........if you didn't you better start laughing now because I aint paying you no money. Well you know the deal, you review and then I take a long time to write another chapter and really annoy you all. Well I gotta go because there is an iced coffee with my name on it because I am the Master.......hehehe get it? Master................*WHACK, BAM, POW*.............ok no more bad jokes.


	12. Link's Money Explained!

YAY that part of the competition is now over. What kind of event do you think should happen next? Tell me in your reviews. I don't own the Legend of Zelda but I can buy all the games.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

**Me: Hey we won!**

**Link: All thanks to Saria.**

**Saria: It wasn't much really.**

**Navi: That's right, it was my expert training sessions that helped you win**

**Me: I don't remember training.**

**Leo: She drugged your iced coffee.**

**Me: No one messes with my iced coffee. Prepare to die evil spawn of hell!!**

**Navi: AHHHHHHHHH…………….wait I'm supposed to hurt you.**

**Link: You need a reason to hurt him.**

**Saria: It becomes sort of evil if you do it for nothing.**

**Navi: Yeah.**

**Leo: Has he done anything to you lately.**

**Me: Only blown her and those other guys up with a cleverly laid plan that took only a few seconds to think of.**

**Navi: That really hurt now that my temporary amnesia is gone. PREPARE TO DIE!!!!**

**Me: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH**

**Zelda: Why haven't I been mentioned in the last chapter?**

**Malon: Same with me, I should at least have been mentioned as the person Link was fighting for.**

**Ruto: Only for that disgusting milk your cows make. He was really fighting for me, his one true love.**

**Zelda: Get real fishy. Link loves me!**

**Malon: As if!**

**Ruto: Bring it on!.**

***SMASH, WHACK, BAM, POW***

**Midna: Hey isn't that the author being chased by Navi.**

**Medli: So it is.**

**Tetra: He's the one who didn't include us in the last chapter.**

**MM&T: HE MUST BE HURT!!!**

**EvilDestroyer: That isn't my diary.**

**Issacivan: Of course it is.**

**EvilDestroyer: But it's pink and that doesn't suit my manliness.**

**archsage328: Yeah and that's why it has 'EvilDestroyer's Diary' written on the cover.**

**Robert: Be quiet guys, I'm trying to think.**

**Issacivan: Do you have the capability of thought.**

**Robert: Shut-up, my team so totally owned your team so don't go insulting your betters.**

**archsage328: Then why were you the very first one to be knocked out of the fight both times.**

**Robert: I wasn't ready.**

**EvilDestroyer: Yeah right! LOSER!!**

**JGRDL: He's not the one with a pink diary.**

**DarthRevanShepard: That is so totally shame.**

**JGRDL: I mean come on. A guy with an awesome name like EvilDestroyer has a pink diary.**

**DarthRevanShepard: Well don't forget the strange tendencies that Majora has.**

**JGRDL: Yeah I know but the fact is the diary is PINK!**

**Issacivan: Ok so we established the fact that it is pink.**

**JGRDL: AND IT'S PINK.**

**archsage328: Ok he's on a sugar rush and it needs to be beaten out of him.**

**Others: Let's do this!**

***BAM, POW, HURTIES, SLAM, CRUNCH***

**JGRDL:……the bleeding**

**Ganondorf: How humiliating, getting blown up by a fairy carrying a bomb.**

**Mido: Don't forget that the fairy got blown up as well.**

**Ganondorf: Yeah but that was all the plan of the useless author LinkHammer.**

**Mido: He is useless!**

**Majora: But we managed to have such a great period of bonding time together while we were in the infirmary.**

**Mido: All the more reason to beat the living daylights out of that author when we find him.**

**Ganondorf: THERE HE IS!! LET'S GO KILL HIM!!!**

**Majora: _Just you wait my friends. Soon I will turn you to my side…. the Dark Side... Mwahahahahahaha_**

**Din: Well I still can't believe that we didn't win the Super Smash round.**

**Farore: Yeah but at least we managed to learn more about the other teams in the process.**

**Nayru: And I get to spend more time around Hammer Boy *sigh***

**Din: *whisper* She's still freaking me out Farore.**

**Farore: *whisper* I know. She has to get over that guy sometime.**

**Nayru: I can hear you guys so shut-up. You're both no better.**

**Din: What do you mean?**

**Nayru: I know that Farore definitely likes that JGRDL bloke, I've seen her researching him with her spy network.**

**Farore: ummmm *blush***

**Nayru: And you like that Robert guy Din.**

**Din: I do not………and even if I did he is not powerful enough to interest me.**

**Farore: Since when have you ever considered power other than your own 'o' dominating sister?**

**Din: SHUT-UP!!**

**Saria: Link.**

**Link: Yeah?**

**Saria: you keep taking everyone out to dinner and spend heaps of rupees. Where do you get them all?**

**Link: Well while I was in the future I managed to find a sports almanac that contained all of the past decades sports results (Back to the Future). So I bet on the winner whenever I'm low on cash and soon I have enough money to help you guys.**

**Leo: I always knew you were hiding something.**

**Saria: Well now I don't have to worry about money when you're paying Link.**

**Link: Well that's what best friends do right.**

**Saria: Of course *wink***

**Leo: *whispers to self* and that's how people in love act.**

**Saria: What did you say Leo?**

**Leo: Nothing, just rambling to myself about random things.**

**Me: Why is it that every time I come here, I end up being chased and hurt by other people?**

**Navi: Because your readers love seeing you get tormented now before I forget I have a present for you.**

**Me: What is it?**

**Navi: THIS! GO SUPER MR. CRICKET BAT!!!**

***WHACK, BAM, POW, SLAM, CRUNCH, CRACK, HURTIES***

**Me:……….the agony.**

**_______________________________________________________________________________**

**Me: **And there you go, the reason for Link's seemingly endless supply of cash and me hurt all in one super package. Ok I want to see lots of good reviews..............look deep into my unseeable eyes and you will be hypnotised. You will review, you will review.............*WHACK, THUMP, SLAM*...OW!!!!

**Navi:** Shut-up. You're freaking me out more than Majora

**Me: **That is pretty bad, thanks for the warning................REVIEW!!!!!!


	13. The Aftermath

I AM ALIVE!!!!!!! LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YAY!!!................*silence*...........ok there is a free buffet next door...........*YAY!!!!*  
much better. Well after a long wait due to school work and EXAMS.....DUN DUN DUNNN!!!!!

Ok, now then were was I when I last updated this story…..let's see. Link, Saria and me *grin* win round one with JGRDL, DarthRevanShepard and Robert coming a close second. After that Link and Saria were planning on going to dinner and I had to stay behind to look after Leo and Navi or Leo would nuke my sorry behind with an Imperial Blaster Rifle that he stole from the Galactic Empire…now then have I missed anything?... well if I have then just go back and read the previous chapter to find out because I'm just too lazy to write it out again. Well now that I've got that out of the way, let's get on with the story.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Change the T.V channel, I'm sick of this program" I said to Leo and Navi as we sat on the couch in the entertainment centre.

"No, I'm waiting for my favourite show to come on" Navi said back before throwing the remotes into a magical cage to prevent me from changing the channels.

"Well can you at least let me go somewhere and do something I like?" I said.

"I already told you, you have to look after us while Link and Saria are out" Leo said as he made sure that the iron ball was firmly attached to my ankle.

*sigh*

"Shhh, it's about to start" Navi said as the T.V screen flickered.

There was a moments silence as all eyes went to the television screen and then there was a bright burst of colour and loud theme music. This was followed by a large purple dinosaur who started to speak in a really annoying voice.

"HI KIDS!! LET'S HAVE FUN!!!"

*GUN NOISE, SHATTERING GLASS*

Navi looked in shock at the broken T.V and then turned towards the author who was holding a smoking 12 gauge semi-automatic shotgun.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU BEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!?" Navi screamed with all her fury.

"Must……kill……Barney the Dinosaur" I muttered as my eyes flicked back and forth looking for any trace of a purple dinosaur (read my profile)

Navi's eyes started twitching and took on a red glow as her little fairy hands clenched in anger and a look of pure anger came across her face.

Leo quickly took out a key and unshackled my foot from the heavy iron ball before shouting at me.

"RUN LH!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!"

As soon as the last word came out of his mouth a cloud of dust appeared where I used to be (don't ask me how the dust even came into the room in the first place).

"Oh Leo…someone has to get hurt for this" Navi said as an evil grin came across her features.

"……..help"

**Over to Link and Saria**

"I still can't believe we won that first round" Saria said as she did a little twirl of happiness.

"Yeah considering the level of competition" Link said as he smiled at Saria.

"So Link, what are we going to do while we wait for it to get to the time for our dinner appointment?" Saria said.

"Well I figured that I could take you for a ride around Hyrule Field on Epona" Link said as he turned around a corner towards the direction of Hyrule Field.

"Ok as long as it's not too dangerous" Saria said before breaking into a run and overtaking Link and sticking her tongue out at him.

"Hey, you're not going to beat me that easy" Link said as he also broke into a run and chased after Saria; a huge, happy smile on his face.

**Well That Was a Short Section........oh well, over to some random location!**

*WHACK, BANG, TWACK*

"Ummm, DRS you're going to break the brick wall there if you keep hitting your head against it" Robert said.

"But we were so close to winning back there!" DarthRevanShepard yelled as she continued to hit her head against the wall.

"Well we didn't win and now it's all in the past, so let's think ahead and prepared for whatever could possibly be the next event" JGRDL said as he took a sip from his milkshake that he had somehow conjured out of no-where.

"……oh ok, you sound like you're making sense there. Just let me hit this wall once more time" DRS said before turning back towards the wall and whacking her head against it.

*WHACK!!! (see, I told you she whacked it)……CRACK, CRACK*

"Umm, those cracking noises coming from the wall don't sound very good" Robert said uneasily.

"Don't worry about it Robert, this wall is perfectly safe and sound. Here I'll prove it to you" JGRDL said as he walked over to the wall, pushed the dizzy DRS away and then kicked the wall.

*CRUMBLE, THUD*

"JGRDL, are you hurt!!" Robert yelled as he looked at the massive pile of rubble that had fallen down on top of JGRDL.

"Of course I'm hurt. I just had almost a ton of bricks and mortar came down on top of me if you didn't notice!!!" JGRDL yelled from underneath the rubble.

"Well there's no need for you to be so sarcastic, I was just worried" Robert said before walking off to get himself a drink.

Just then another brick came down and landed right on the spot where JGRDL's head was. As JGRDL passed out from pain, a still dizzy DarthRevanShepard continued to stumble around.

"Look at the pretty birdies flying around my head"

**At Least That Section Was Longer……next random location.**

"Blow West!!!...........good, now blow East" archsage328 said as he continued to change the wind direction.

"Could you stop doing that, I'm trying to comb my hair!" EvilDestroyer said above the noise of the wind.

"Your wind is also blowing away all of my notes!" Issacivan said.

"But I have to practice my skills for the next event" archsage328 replied.

"Can't you do it somewhere else?" said ED as he once again tried to get his hair into the exact style that he wanted.

"No-one will let me practice my skills anywhere else" said archsage328.

"Well we could always build a rocket, blast you into space and then you can practice up there" Issacivan said as he gathered his precious notes.

"I like that idea!!" ED exclaimed before rushing around to find parts for a rocket.

"I'm glad you are on this team with all your smart thinking" as328 (yes I'll shorten it to that) said before going off to help EvilDestroyer (aka: ED).

"………….Twits" Issacivan said before going back to study his notes.

**Nope back to the short sections…hmm let's see what the baddies are doing.**

"I still can't believe that we lost during the first round!!" Ganondorf yelled as he summoned monsters and then destroyed them to relieve his anger.

"Calm down Ganny, you'll burst a blood vessel if you continue to act like this" Majora said as he walked over and put his arm around Ganondorf's shoulder.

*WHACK, THUMP*

"Don't touch me while I'm destroying things and stop calling me Ganny!!" Ganondorf yelled at the now unconscious Majora.

Mido was hiding underneath a pile of cushions in a corner of the room at this point in time. However, he accidentally bumped the wall which knocked down a very loosely attached shelf upon which was a pot filled with Ganondorf's favourite glass pokemon figurines.

*SMASH, SHATTER, TINKLE, TINKLE*

"My….my….my precious glass pokemon figurines" Ganondorf stuttered as he looked at the mess on the ground.

Mido let out a small squeak which immediately drew Ganondorf's attention.

"Mido you little worm!!!" Ganondorf roared in anger.

"S-sorry Ganondorf" Mido managed to say before being blasted by some dark energy.

"I've had enough of you, you pathetic weakling!! You are officially off the team and will be replaced by some random person!" Ganondorf said as he grabbed Mido by the scruff of the neck and then threw him outside.

"But who could ever replace me?" Mido said.

"Hiya, my name is phantomlink959 and I am absolutely awesome!!" said a strange guy who appeared out of no-where.

Mido looked at him before saying

"b*stard!"

**Well that was a bit strange……I wonder where the crazy author is.**

"Ugh……too much Iced Coffee hurt stomach" said a groaning guy, lying on the floor, clutching his belly. "Oh well at least nothing can happen to me now that I am practically unable to move anywhere by myself"

*MAGICAL BLUE EXPLOSION*

"I found you Hammer Boy!" yelled the blue haired goddess, Nayru as she rushed from the area where she had landed.

"f*ck*

"Look at you, so stuffed with drink that you can barely move by yourself. It's a good thing that I can take you back to the heavens where I can nurse you back to health" said Nayru.

"Curse you for being so tempting Iced Coffee!!"

*ANOTHER MAGICAL BLUE EXPLOSION!!"

**Man I'm really Getting a Workout Here……over to Link and Saria.**

Clear notes sounded across land of Hyrule where the eventually found the ears of a browny-orange horse with a white mane. The horse perked up its ears at the sound of familiar music, before galloping off towards the source of the music.

"How far away do you think Epona is?" Saria asked as Link put down his ocarina.

"I have no idea, but no-matter how far away she is; Epona will always get here quickly" Link replied.

Sure enough, after a few minutes the figure of a fast approaching horse came into the two companions' vision. After another ten seconds, Epona stood in front of Link and Saria, snorting with happiness at being called by her friend and master.

"She really is a magnificent creature" Saria said with awe as she watched Link walk over and pat the horse on the nose.

"Come over here and let me introduce you to Epona, the fastest and most loyal horse in the entire world" Link said.

Saria walked towards Epona before coming to stop next to Link.

"Now then Saria, reach your hand out slowly and hold it in front of Epona's nose, but don't touch yet" Link said.

Saria did as Link said and then waited. Epona looked at the hand before sniffing it. Finding that the hand smelled nice and the owner of it looked friendly, Epona showed her acceptance by licking Saria's hand. Link laughed as Saria stared at her saliva covered hand. However, he soon stopped laughing as Saria wiped her hand on his face.

"I'll get you back for that sometime Saria" Link said as he used his hat to wipe to saliva off his face. "Well now that Epona seems to like you, I'll help you get up."

"It won't be dangerous will it? And you promise that you won't go fast" Saria said nervously as Link helped her onto Epona's back.

"Don't worry, I promise" Link said with his fingers crossed behind his back, before climbing onto Epona's saddle with Saria sitting in front of him.

With that Link jabbed his heels into Epona's sides, immediately setting Epona off at a gallop that was close to her maximum speed.

"SLOW DOWN LINK!!" Saria screamed as she clung as tight as she could to Epona's mane.

Link laughed as he kept Epona travelling at the same speed and a grin came across his face.

"I TOLD YOU I WOULD I WOULD GET YOU BACK FOR WIPING THAT SPIT ON MY FACE!" Link yelled.

**Hehehehe……*grin*………let's see what's happened to Navi and Leo**

"I hope that you have learned your lesson now Leo" Navi said as she cracked the whip she was holding in her hand.

"Yes I have…never ever release the person who you were about to injure" a bruised, cut, burned and slightly concussed Leo replied.

"Very good, now I am sure that you will never make anymore mistakes in the future" Navi said.

"Yes Navi" Leo said as he managed to crawl over to a seat.

"Now what I don't understand is why LinkHammer destroyed the T.V when Barney came on" said Navi as she looked at the area where the T.V had been.

"Probably because Barney is a freak of nature who is even more annoying than you, and I know that that is extremely hard to believe" said Leo as he read my little guide on how to describe annoying things.

"Oh Leo, I think you need to learn another lesson now……the title of this next lesson is…**Never Insult my Favourite Characters or me even if it was what LH's guide told you to do!!!**" Navi said menacingly as she cracked the whip again and fluttered towards Leo with murder in her eyes.

*whimper*

**Ok I think we've seen enough here……onwards to the author……again**

"I keep telling you, I'm fine. I just drank a bit too much Iced Coffee!!!" yelled an almost hysterical author.

"Listen, you need plenty of rest and you also need to calm down, Hammer Boy" Nayru said as she checked to make sure that the restraints were still holding.

The door of Nayru's room opened to reveal her red haired sister, Din, who had a look of annoyance on her face.

"Can't you keep it down in here? You've made Farore put in the wrong coordinates four times already, and I'm running out of celestial lighting to hit the targets with" Din said angrily.

"Listen, I have a sick patient and we shouldn't be disturbed so stop interrupting me when I'm looking after Hammer Boy" Nayru said back.

"If you're so concerned about that pitiful mortal then why don't you just stay by his side 24/7 and never come back here!!" Din yelled back.

At this point Farore decided to do the right thing and break up the argument in a nice, sensible and logical fashion.

"UNLESS YOU TWO SHUT-UP THIS INSTANCE, YOU WILL FIND A CELESTIAL LIGHTNING BOLT COMING AND HITTING YOU RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!!!" Farore yelled from her room (see what I mean. Perfectly logical, sensible and nice).

Din glared in the direction of Farore's room and then looked back at Nayru.

"I…I'm sorry sis……I let my anger get the better of me and didn't consider your feelings" Din said as she held out her hand in apology.

Nayru ran up and grabbed Din in a big hug.

"That's ok sis…I should have considered how much work you have to do and how many people you have to strike down" Nayru said with a small tear in her eye.

"Now that you two have forgiven and understood each other we can get back to what we were all doing" Farore said as she came out of her room to join the hug.

Just as the moment was getting really good and sisterly there was a large explosion like a cannon.

"What was that?" said Nayru as she looked around.

"I expect it has something to do with LinkHammer" said Din.

"But he can't do anything, he's restrained on the medical bed" Nayru replied.

"Ummm, I hate to tell you this Nayru, but he's managed to escape" Farore said.

"But I made sure that nothing could escape from those restraints. I know he's not strong enough to break through them" Nayru replied.

"Well he didn't break through them. Judging by the teeth marks, I would say that he chewed through them" said Farore.

"We have to look for him" Nayru said worriedly.

"I'm afraid he's already gone, judging by the fact that the explosion was from our canon, meaning he probably blasted himself back down to Hyrule" said Din. "But don't worry, I'm sure he couldn't have done anything seeing as he would have wanted to get back to Hyrule as quickly as possible."

"But Din, you left all your Iced Coffees next to the canon" said Farore.

Din immediately rushed from Nayru's room into the canon room. Sure enough there were no Iced Coffees in sight. Back inside Nayru's Room, Nayru and Farore covered their ears as abusive yelling came from the canon room.

**Meanwhile Back on Hyrule**

Inside a small crater just outside of Lon Lon Ranch, the figure of a well known author collapsed into unconsciousness. Just before he did, the following words could be heard.

"As soon as I regain consciousness drink Iced Coffees and invest in parachutes"

*GROAN, THUMP*

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Well I hope that you enjoyed that chapter. I hope that I haven't lost my touch in the long amount of time that I have spent not being able to write. Well you guys know the drill: Press the Green Button and give me a good review.........then drink lots of iced coffee!!!!  
Thanks for reading this chapter!

~LinkHammer~


	14. I DON'T HAVE A TITLE FOR THIS CHAPTER

I had to write this chapter during school and so I have almost run out of time......by the way, today is the 19th of June and so it is my birthday, YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok now that I have had my little moment, on with the story!!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Link: YAY another chapter has been completed.**

**Saria: It's a good thing too. I was getting impatient.**

**Navi: I got to hurt things again after such a long time.**

**Leo: Curse you for writing that chapter *groan, thump***

**Link: You may have been a bit harsh to him there Navi.**

**Saria: Yeah, and it's my responsibility to nurse him back to health seeing as he is my guardian fairy.**

**Navi: But he teased Barney the Dinosaur.**

**Me: And for good reason. Barney is the worst thing in the world.**

**Navi: I'll kill you for teasing Barney.**

**Me: YAY!!! I'm going to be killed by a homicidal cricket bat wielding fairy.**

**Navi: DIE!!!!**

**Ganondorf: Now then I hope that you will prove to be a trustworthy companion.**

**Phantomlink959: Of course I will. I didn't ask to be included only to be kicked out for being a lousy person.**

**Ganondorf: Good, now as your first act as official team member, you must go kick a puppy dog.**

**Phantomlink959: YAY!!!**

**Majora: Well he certainly has energy.**

**Ganondorf: Yep, he'll make an excellent bad guy.**

**Majora: I hope he likes having a pink room.**

**Mido: You haven't gotten rid of me yet.**

**Majora: Shut-up and get back in your box.**

**Mido: Oh man!!**

**Nayru: I still can't believe he managed to chew through that restraint.**

**Farore: And then steal all of Din's Iced Coffees and escape.**

**Din: When I find him I will kill him.**

**Me: I would like to see you try.**

**Din: You must die!!**

**Navi: Join me to destroy him.**

**Din: Will do!!**

**Me: YAY!!!!!!!!!1**

**Nayru: Wait you haven't recovered enough to run like that.**

**Farore: Won't the just shut-up?**

**DRS: Hey all the little birdies have gone away. YAY!!**

**Robert: It's about time. You've been stumbling around since the wall collapsed.**

**DRS: Really?......hey where's JGRDL?**

**Robert: I think he's still under the rubble.**

**JGRDL: No, I'm right behind you and am going to hit you for leaving me there.**

**Robert: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!**

**ED: I finally have all the parts for the rocket.**

**as328: And I have finished building it.**

**Issacivan: Prepare for launch.**

**as328: Ok, just let me get in.**

**ED: I want to come too.**

**Issacivan: Then jump in too……hehehe more peace and quiet for me.**

**ED: Ok!!!!**

**Issacivan: Prepare for launch……5…...4……3……2……1……BLAST OFF!**

***KABOOM!!!!!!!***

**Issacivan:…..hmmm it would appear the rocket exploded and knocked the other two unconscious. I should hide the bodies in that pile of bushed over there before going back to study my notes.**

**Link: It's good that everything is back to normal now.**

**Saria: yep. People hurting and insulting each other.**

**Leo: And nobody's paying any attention to me.**

***contented sigh***

**Navi & Din: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Me: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH**

***WHACK, BAM, POW, CRUNCH!!!***

**Me:…………..the agony**

**_________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Yep. another set of chapters completed. Now all that is left to do is to write lots more chaopters to keep you readers completely satisfied. If you are not satisfied then you should go drink a great deal of iced coffee. It always works for me. Well please review and tell me what you think.  
Thanks!!!!!

~LinkHammer~


	15. WHY DO I NAME THE CHAPTERS?

Hi everyone, hopefully you're all screaming with excitement because this chapter is now out......probably not.

Ok so we'll skip to the next day as I really can't be bothered wrapping up the events of the day we were on before…..did that make sense? Regardless of the sense it may or may not have made we shall now begin the events of a new and exciting day in Hyrule where we shall find out what the next fantastic game event is…….JGRDL I believe that you will already know what this one is as you are the one who suggested it. As such here's a big thankyou in the form of Iced Coffee and Cookies :)

Well that's enough of my rambling, none of you probably even read this anyway..........tell me if you do.  
AND ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"That was a great breakfast" Leo said as he sat back in his miniature fairy seat.

"Yeah, I never knew that you could cook so well Link" Saria said as she took away the breakfast dishes to the dish washer that had somehow been installed hundreds of years before its time *wink*.

"Well when you're always out saving the world there's no-one to cook for you so you learn a little bit and of course the better you are, the better you eat and everyone here knows how I love to eat" Link replied with a grin.

"What do you mean there was no-one to cook for you? I was there!" Navi said with a look of annoyance upon her little fairy face……if you can see it.

"Navi, there are amebae on Saturn who can boil a better egg than you" I said from near the doorway (thankyou _Black Adder Goes Forth_).

"DIE!!!!" yelled the fairy before flying off out the door after a fleeing, screaming author.

"How can she muster the energy to kill this early in the morning?" Saria said as she shook her head.

"I don't know Saria but sometimes I wish she could have used that energy on our adventures to kill the bosses and let me relax" replied Link.

A few moments of silence passed before Leo looked up from the newspaper and asked "Soooooo does anyone here even know what an amebae is? And where the hell is Saturn?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Whoever is making that infernal screaming can they just shut-up before I nuke your sorry but!!" yelled DarthRevanShepard from the couch where she was trying to watch a new movie……just don't ask me what it is cause how would I know?

"Don't worry about it; it's probably just LinkHammer who has angered Navi yet again who is now trying to kill him" Robert said from over the top of the cereal box…..mmmmmm Fruit Loops.

*DING DONG*

"Someone's at the door JGRDL!!" Robert and DRS both yelled at the same time.

"Yeah, yeah I'll go get it" mumbled JGRDL as he stumbled down the stairs and opened the door…….to meet a smiling Farore.

"…………………so pretty" JG whispered.

"Good morning, I'm sorry for disturbing you but my sisters and I have run out tea bags, do you have any?" Farore asked very kindly (yeah, that's cheesy I know).

"Uh sure, come in and help yourself" JG said as he moved aside.

"No need for me to come in, I am a goddess after all" said Farore before clicking her fingers and summoning a box of tea bags from JG's, Robert's and DRS's kitchen. "Thankyou so much….Hey you're JGRDL aren't you; I can't wait to compete against you in the next event."

"……………so pretty" JG whispered again.

"Hey Farore what's taking you so long?" said a blue haired teenage girl; yup Nayru (Ok so the goddesses don't want to be old and wrinkly and if I'm gonna have some obsessed stalker she's gotta be close to my age).

"Nothing, I'm coming back now. Cya JGRDL" said Farore before walking off towards Nayru who suddenly saw a running figure being chased by a fairy and decided to join in with the chase.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" *sudden increased volume of screaming for no apparent reason*

"Get me my bazooka" said DRS as flames burned in her eyes.

"Eeep" said Robert as he hid behind his cereal box.

"So…pretty" whispered JG to no-one in particular.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"AAAHHH FIRE!!" yelled EvilDestroyer as the contents of the frying pan turned into an inferno.

"I've got the fire hydrant" yelled Issacivan.

"No need for that. My wind power will put out the fire" said archsage328 as a strong gust of wind blew in from the door towards the frying pan…….only to carry sparks from the fire over onto a pile of straw next to Midna, Medli and Tetra's team headquarters which then set their patio on fire.

"hehe….oops" said archsage328.

"They're not going to be happy about that" said EvilDestroyer as he put on a helmet to protect him from the expected wrath of Midna.

"Yeah" said archsage328 as he did the same thing.

"I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU MEDLI!!!" yelled Issacivan as he burst out the room with the fire hydrant.

"…..he so totally likes her" said ED.

"yup" said archsage328 as he put down the video camera that he was holding. "hehe this will look great on youtube".

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey you missed a spot" said Ganondorf as he sat back in a black leather recliner and took a drink from his ale….

(Hey this is a kid's story, no alcohol allowed. Ganondorf: "AWW MAAAAAN!!!")

"Don't worry, I'll get too it right away" said phantomlink959 as he quickly brushed over the mentioned missed spot with some blue paint.

"My lovely pink room" Majora sobbed to himself in the corner.

"Ah, it's good to have such a loyal servant instead of that pathetic, snivelling worm we had before" said Ganondorf as he sipped from the coke we gave him in place of the ale.

"Hey that's no way to talk about me!" Mido shouted from his cage on a table next to Majora's bed. "And how did you get him to paint the room blue instead of black or grey?"

"NEVER RAISE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME!!!!......and I actually quite like blue" said Ganondorf.

"I suggested it and because I'm such an awesome team member Ganondorf and Majora are letting me have first choice as to what I'd like to do in the next event" said phantom (yep we're calling him that for short) as he also grabbed a coke out of the fridge, now that his painting was finished.

"……….my lovely pink room" Majora sobbed again before a torrent of tears started flooding the floor.

**A few hours later in the main assembly area.**

"Good morning one and all, and welcome to a brand new day and thus a brand new event for the Hyrule Games" announced Volvagia with a cheery voice.

"Whatever you overgrown and thoroughly annoying lizard" murmured Dark Link as he tried to sleep in his announcer's / judge's chair.

"I'm sure you are all extremely excited about what our next event may be!" Volvagia said energetically.

"Whatever" Dark Link said with a yawn.

*WHACK*

"Stop killing the mood DL" Volvagia said as he put away my hammer which I had loaned to him…for a price of course.

"HEY SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE HITTING YOU!?" shouted Dark Link.

"Nope, I paid LH enough money and iced coffee to let him re-write the script" Volvagia said confidently.

………..or was it enough?…………

*WHACK*

"It seems like the script has just been re-re-written" smirked Dark Link as he put away the hammer that he had taken from where Volvagia had hidden it.

"As you can all see, we are rather busy with personal issues here and so Volvagia and I managed to bring in a guest star who is apparently an expert in this events field, so without any further ado I bring you GreatAether96!!"

"Hi and thanks for the introduction Dark Link" said a blonde haired, bluey-green eyed boy as he walked up to the podium. "As you now know my name is GreatAether96 and I will be judging this event. As such I hope that you are ready for the strain of trying to win the………..DODONGO RODEO!!!!!!!"

"WOOHOO!!!" yelled JGRDL from the back of the crowd.

"This was your awesome idea wasn't it JGRDL" said Robert ecstatically.

"Yup" answered JG.

*DOUBLE WHACK*

"Why am I stuck with these two morons?" said DRS as she put away her hockey stick and the other two guys collapsed to the floor with the cartoon stars and birds floating around their heads.

"Hey this event's probably going to be really awesome but totally tough at the same time" ED said.

"We're going to need all the advantages if we're going to win this one. Issacivan, do you have any notes?" archsage328 asked.

"Of course, let it not be said that this nerd is never prepared" said Issacivan proudly as he took a super hero stance…….SUPER NERD!!!

"This sounds like it's going to be really difficult" Saria said nervously.

"Don't worry Saria, I've had lot's of experience with Dodongo's so I'm sure we can do well" said Link.

"And I know everything about them because of my great fairy wisdom and my ability to sense weak points" Navi said proudly.

"Yeah, all because you snuck into Issacivan's room and stole his notes because you are completely hopeless and don't know anything about everything especially Dodongo's" I said as I stretched after that running I did earlier.

*WHACK, BAM, POW*………."I think I would rather face the wrath of those Dodongo's"…....*COLLAPSE TO THE GROUND*

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt" said Leo as he slightly backed away from Navi.

"I am so having the main part in this event" phantom said excitedly.

"But I'm the dark lord and so I should get to ride the Dodongo" said Ganondorf.

"No way, you said that I could have whatever part I want in this next event and so I'm taking it!" phantom shouted.

"I can change my mind you know; I'm evil!" Ganondorf replied.

"…….I have an iced coffee which I can give to LinkHammer to make your life a living hell if I don't get what I want this time" phantom said with a smirk.

"Oh, all right……sometimes I think I should have stuck with freckles"

"……..I want to ride the pretty monster" Majora whispered to himself.

"There are three rounds to this event" GA96 said (that's GreatAether96). "Each round requires a different rider. In the first round you will ride a small Dodongo. The second rider will be on a large Dodongo. The third round will involve all of the third riders going in for battle while riding large Dodongo's. The points allocated for you in the first two rounds will be determined by how long you can stay on the Dodongo. The third round winner gets 10 points for being last to fall off while the other go to 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. In the end, the team with the most points wins. When competing the two team members not riding will act as rodeo clowns. Also, Dodongo's are normally quite slow creatures and so riding them would be easy. As such we have hyped them on sugar, energy drinks, coffee, red cordial and have feed them all hundreds of incredibly hot 'n' spicy chilly peppers, SO PREPARE FOR A BUMPY RIDE!!!"

**Another few hours later**

"Ok so we have to decide who'll ride with which event" Leo said as he picked up a pen and paper.

"We'll I've got the least experience in this type of area and since I'm also the smallest I suppose that I should ride the little Dodongo" Saria said.

"Ok, but as long as you remember that even though it's small it's very dangerous. I don't wont to be known as the guardian fairy who let his master get hurt" Leo said as he wrote down Saria's name next to the small Dodongo.

"Link has experience at fighting from horseback so I think that he should be in the final event. He is the strongest after all" I said as I sipped an Iced Coffee.

"I thought you'd want to take the glory for yourself, are you scared of the big bad Dodongo battle" Navi laughed.

*WHACK*

"Stupid fairy."

"Well that means that you are our second rider LH. By the way, I need to have a word to you in private about the event" Link said before walking off to a balcony that was just installed.

"Ok"

A few moments passed while Link whispered something to me and then my face turned white before I muttered a simple "On my life".

"It is on your life" Link said before patting my head and walking off to talk to Saria.

"What did he do to you LH?" Leo asked.

"Yeah I wanna know so I can scare the cr*p out of you" Navi cheered.

**Flashback**

"_While I am riding I won't be able to protect Saria. She knows the risks involved in the games but if she gets hurt I don't know what I would do. So you must be there to protect her and take all the blows from the Dodngo's like a true clown or the __**consequences…will…be…extremely…severe**__.__So do you swear to protect her for me?"_

"_On my life"_

"_It is on your life"_

_*freaky*_

**End Flashback**

"So the moral of this story is that if you don't protect the girl the guy loves he will kill or seriously injure you" said Leo.

*nod*

"So you face serious bodily harm from jumping in the way of hyped, dangerous, fire breathing Dodongo's or the wrath of Link" Navi added.

*another nod*

Leo and Navi looked at each other before saying in unison "I think the Dodongo's will be gentler."

*Rapid nodding*

**Over to another team**

"I'm riding the little one!" Robert shouted.

"What? Why do you get to have the easy one?" asked DRS.

"Because if I can actually stay on for a substantial amount of time then I can impress the ladies" Robert said with a wink.

*WHACK*

"You are so hopeless" DRS said as she put away her hockey stick for the second time that day.

"I'm in the final round because I thought of this event and because I have no sense of danger or common sense, YAY!!" JG yelled enthusiastically.

"Well that means I'm in the second event. At least I won't look wimpy like Robert or be killed like JGRDL" DRS said casually.

"Hey stop picking on me!" Robert yelled.

*WHACK*

"I don't think he'll ever learn when to be quiet" said JG before wandering off to find a milkshake.

**Another team**

"I should ride the little one because I'm arguably the most important member of this team and so any injury to me would be terrible" Issacivan said.

"What do you mean the most important team member?" said ED

"Well I have all the notes on the Dodongo's and so I have the strategy to win so thus I am temporarily the most important" Issacivan said triumphantly. "Speaking of my notes……….WHERE HAVE THEY GONE!!?"

"hahaha, so Mr. I'm so important cause I've got notes has lost his notes!" ED laughed.

"I'LL FIND THEM!" yelled Issacivan before running off.

"Now that that is out of the way I'll let you know that I'll be rider in the third round" as328 said.

"Why is that?" asked ED

"Well with my ability to manipulate the wind I am given a prime opportunity to strike my enemies from afar and keep the air pressure at a level that will guarantee that I don't fall from the saddle" as328 replied.

"………..you just pulled all of that from you a**e"

"………..yup"

**Next Team**

"I'm riding third because I want to be in the most entertaining event!" phantom shouted.

"But I'm the most powerful, and an Evil King to boot so I should be riding third" Ganondorf yelled back.

"Oh, would you look at this Iced Coffee that I'm holding in my hand. I'm sure LinkHammer would do something for this" phantom said dangerously.

"Ok, I get your point….stupid team members"

"I want to ride the pretty little Dodongo!" Majora said cheerfully like an energetic small child.

"Fine, you can have your little Dodongo. I guess I'll just be riding second and I guess that it's good to let others have the spotlight for a while……_while I steal the audiences wallets, hehehe_" Ganondorf replied.

**And onto the next t……ooooh a buffet!**

_Well seeing as the creature in charge of changing the scenes is currently stuffing his face I'm afraid that we will be unable to show what the remaining three teams combinations are going to be. To make up for this interruption we wish for all of you to go and do something just for you, something to make your day worthwhile. This hereby ends this chapter. We now leave you with footage of a dancing bear!_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Well what did you all think of this chapter? Sorry it took me so long to update but I've just been extremely busy and writers block has been hitting me over the head with a cricket bat…….wait a second, that's not writers block! DIE NAVI!!

*WHACK, BAM, POW, SLAM*………*gasping for breath*

Ok so you may have won this battle Navi but I shall smite you soon!!

Well now that that's out of the way, please review *puppy dog eyes*. By the way, if you are going to try and flame me…be warned that I do have many good retorts and I will…MAKE…THEM…HURT!!!........just kidding; if you are going to flame, make it something creative that let's me know that you are not just some brainless retard trying to put someone down…this way you'll be noted for having some brainpower!  
...........sorry if that sounded a bit harsh.

Cya

~LinkHammer~


	16. I MEAN IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL!

And what is another chapter of the Hyrule Games without a fun filled side chapter involving practically everyone of the story in some random events inside our favourite place: THE ZELDA CHAT ROOM (which is probabl one of my best ideas so far even though someone else has probably already created one before me).

So hold onto your seats because

**Link: The excitement is slowly building-up for the next event.**

**Saria: I can't wait to see which team will win the Dodongo Rodeo.**

**Leo: Hopefully it will be us!**

**Navi: Especially because I am so knowledgeable about everything.**

**Me: Only because you have Issacivan's notes, otherwise you are the most useless and clueless fairy ever created. I know chickens who know more about monsters than you.**

**Navi: CRICKET BAT ATTACK!!**

**Me: AAAAHHHHH, RUN AWAY!!!**

**Link: There they go again.**

**Saria: At this rate LH will have no energy for the Rodeo.**

**Leo: Are you kidding? LH with no energy, like that'll ever happen.**

**Farore: I should really go out and talk with the neighbouring team again sometime soon.**

**Nayru: You mean with that guy, JGRDL *wink***

**Farore: What? N…no, of course not, I mean everyone.**

**Din: Is it possible that my other sister is falling for a guy.**

**Farore: Not at all, I'm certain.**

**Nayru: Hey look it's JGRDL!**

**Farore: Where!?**

**Nayru: Gotcha….hey wait a second, that's actually LinkHammer….I'm coming HammerBoy.**

**Din: I'm coming as well……TO DESTROY HIM!!!**

**Farore:…….I wonder what LH has done to annoy Din this time?**

**Me: Great, now not only do I have a mad fairy chasing me but also two obsessed goddesses. I'm not sure what's scarier though; that one of them likes me or that one of them wants to destroy me very painfully!**

**Zelda: Don't forget us!**

**Malon: Yeah, we're also here to attack you!**

**Ruto: Prepare for a world of pain!**

**Me: What have I done now!!**

**Zelda; You didn't mention us at all in the previous chapter!**

**Malon: And we're the most important people!**

**Ruto: You shall not be forgiven!**

**Din: Ditto.**

**Me: What would happen if I edited the previous chapter and included you in it?**

**Din: It doesn't matter. I'm a goddess and so the time paradox created by you performing such an act would be nullified thus leaving everyone in Hyrule with the knowledge of exactly whom you forgot to mention in the chapter.**

**Me: ……ok so you lost me when you started speaking.**

***WHACK***

**JGRDL: and she's just so cute, man I don't know why LinkHammer complains about goddesses when this one is so CUTE!!**

**Robert: Ok, you are starting to sound like Nayru when she talks about LinkHammer (though you're talking about Farore) except without any fan girl screaming or creepy pet name.**

**JGRDL: Well that's because I'm not obsessive and I don't follow Farore around 24/7……**_**I hope that my spy will do his money's worth of the job!**_

**DRS: Will you two stop talking about unimportant things and just start concentrating on the next event!**

**Robert: We can have our own free will.**

**JGRDL: Yeah and it's not like the conversation here involves you or anything.**

**DRS:…must…not…take…out…anger…on…tean-mates…….KILL FAIRY!!**

***jet engine noise and cloud of dust***

**Issacivan: I can't find my notes anywhere *breaks down sobbing***

**ED: Get a grip man, it's only some notes.**

**AS328: Yeah but to him, they are all important; like an elixir of life and fountain of knowledge.**

**ED: Yeah but I just wish that he wouldn't act all nerdy about everything; these notes just make the nerd image worse.**

**AS328: You really shouldn't call people nerds, especially your own team-mates.**

***brick hits Issacivan in the head***

**Issacivan: OW!!! Hey there's a note attached to the brick…**

"_**HELP ISSACIVAN; CRAZED FAIRY AND OTHERS ATTACKING ME! ABOUT TO BE OVERWHELMED. PLEASE ASSIST……**_

_**SIGNED: LinkHammer……**_

_**P.S: NAVI HAS YOUR NOTES…"**_

**I'M COMING TO HELP LH……NERD HO!!!!**

**AS328: …ok he is a real nerd.**

**ED: Told ya.**

**Phantom: Hi, this is a random appearance by me just for no apparent reason and has nothing at all to do with the events that are happening in the chat room right now……**

**GA96: I'm doing the same thing as Phantom right now. This is my first time in the chat room and it looks awesome……well I can't really see anything at all but that's not the point, it's the principle of the thing!**

**Link: Twits…**

**Saria: Yup…**

_**Now over to the awesome battle scene. I'll be commentating for the duration of this event.**_

_**Nayru is blowing kisses towards LinkHammer who is dodging these invisible missiles of love with great agility.**_

_**LinkHammer is surrounded on all sides by his attackers and seems to be saying something like "Please kill me in anyway you like. Just don't let Nayru get me, I beg of you."**_

_**Navi is holding Mr. Cricket Bat over her head ready to strike LinkHammer…but wait, a hockey stick has appeared out of nowhere to block the strike…AND NOW DarthRevanShepard HAS ENTERED THE BRAWL. DRS is attacking Navi leaving LH to fight the rest of the mob by himself, but wait; what is that coming closer to the fighting at incredible speeds? IT'S ISSACIVAN WHO IS YELLING "NERD HO!!"**_

_**It seems that LH will have some more opponents taken off his hands…nope Issacivan is just beating the living daylights out of Navi with DRS.**_

_**This battle is getting really violent…OUCH I THING ONE OF NAYRU'S BLOWN KISSES HAS FINALY CONNECTED!! LH is writhing in agony and now the mob of angry girls is descending upon him with fists, boots, rotten fish, and A MIGHTY PITCHFORK IN A MOZART WIG!!!**_

_**Oh and Navi is still getting the absolute *BEEEP* beaten out of her by Issacivan and DRS.**_

**Link: Well that commentator's having fun.**

**Saria: Not to mention he's also doing a good job.**

**Leo: I guess that leaves us to close this chapter.**

**Link&Saria&Leo: GOODBYE, WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS LATEST INSTALLMENT IN THE HYRULE GAMES!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

………………

………………

**Ganondorf&Majora&Tetra&Medli&Midna&Dark-Link&Volvagia:**

**WHAT ABOUT US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**_______________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Phew, that was alot of work. Well I hope that you are all extremely happy with this chapter because I have no idea when I will be getting another one out. Please review, it makes me want to update faster whilst knowing that people are eagerly awaiting more of my work (not that I'm sure I do work any faster, it just makes me feel better when I do work)**

**Well goodbye for now; until next we meet in this imagined world of randomness and hilarty with ultimate author and fairy bashing.**

**~LinkHammer~**


	17. RODEO RUMBLE!

Hi guys, just thought I would surprise you all with another couple of chapters. I've been extremely lazy over the past few months and for that I am extremely sorry because I know how much you guys n girls enjoy these little bits of randomness. A big thanks goes out to all my friends and reviewers who have encouraged me to keep going, ICED COFFEE AND COOKIES FOR ALL! Well I won't take up anymore of your time so go ahead and start reading.

* * *

Disclaimer: _I do not own the 'Legend of Zelda'...yet MWAHAHAHA!_

"ARE YOU READY FOR THE DODONGO RODEO!" GreatAether96 yelled out at the top of his lungs.

"YES!" screamed the horde of…..well screaming fans.

**Dodongo Holding Pen**

"Then we shall now begin the first round! First up is Majora!"

"Ok Majora we want you to do your absolute best. Don't fall off no mater what you do or I will have to destroy you" lectured Ganondorf.

"I HAVE MUCH GREATER EVIL POWER THAN YOU WILL EVERY POSSESS GANONDORF SO I WILL BE DESTROYING YOU!...not to mention I'll hug this cute Dodongo so tightly that I will never fall off" Majora said.

"Ok so that was basically 'supreme overlord of evil' and then 'hugs and kisses all around I love rabbits' kind of thing" said a very confused Phantomlink959.

"Stop arguing and get onto your Dodongo!" yelled Dark-Link from the judge's box."

**Arena**

The hyped up Dodongo was trying to move around in the little holding pen attached to the arena. Ganondorf and Phantomlink959 stood in the arena dressed up as Rodeo Clowns. Ganondorf had a fuzzy red wig with a big red nose. Powdered face which just made his skin look yellow instead of green. As for the clothes; bright baggy pants, floppy shoes and an oversized shirt. Phantom took a much more practical idea and dressed in jeans, boots, a check shirt. He also wore a red nose just to get into the spirit of things.

"Release the Dogogno!" yelled Volvagia.

The Dodongo leapt through the opening in the holding bay, trampled DarkLink and started doing whatever hyped up Dodongo's do whilst being ridden by someone…Nooo not that!

"Aaaaahhhhhh!" screamed Majora as the Dodongo did a full 360 degree turn at high speed sending him flying off and into Ganondorf.

"Quick Pl959, draw its attention so we can get away!" yelled Ganondorf as he struggled to get out from under a suddenly very attached Majora.

"Yo, ugly lizard thing come get me" yelled Pl959 as he mooned the Dodongo.

*WHOOSH, FLAME NOISES*

"Aaarrrrggghhhhhhhhh! This is worse than the result of eating a ton of chilli peppers!" screamed Pl959 as he clutched his scorched backside.

**Audience**

"Now that looked like it hurt a lot" Leo commented with a slight wince as the Dodongo launched another stream of fire at Phantomlink959.

"Cover your eyes Saria, this is not something a lady should see" said Link as he covered Saria's eyes with his hand.

Saria nodded and tried to cover the blush on her face caused by the sight of Pl959's backside…Link would have a word with him for that

**Announcers Box**

"And the time was 8.74 seconds yelled Volvagia ecstatically as he watched the trio (GM&Pl) climb out of the arena as the workers got the Dodongo back in its pen to feed it even more stuff for extra punch.

"Now Dark-Link what did you think about that!...err Dark-Link where are you?" said a confused Volvagia as he looked around the empty (except for him) announcers box.

(Meanwhile Dark-Link was in a bar with DRS, talking and flirting a little…_hehe youtube's gonna love this stuff_.)

"Well seeing as my co-worker is not here, GreatAether96 can announce the next team!" yelled Volvagia.

"Thank you Volvagia my ma…..er dragon. PLEASE WELCOME ROBERT!" yelled GA96.

*….cricket noises*

"Aww where's my applause?" said a very hurt Robert.

"Who cares now get on your Dodongo" replied JGRDL.

*Random conversation coming from DRS in the bar*

"Well it's nice to see that at least one team mate is here for me" said Robert as he turned to….a cardboard cut-out of a now missing JGRDL.

"AND LET'S GO!" yelled Volvagia andGA96"

**Arena**

Robert sat on the crazed Dodongo, whimpering a little as the workers opened the gate to release the beast. The Dodongo shot out of the holding pen with a giant leap…making Robert hit his head on an overhanging bar…why there was a bar there, we may never know.

The Dodongo tore around the arena with Robert clinging on for dear life, hands clutched to a spike on the Dodongo's back, feet flailing in the air (he looks like a Superman when he's flying…well almost like him anyway).

Suddenly the Dodongo braked, sending Robert flying over its head and into the wall with words sounding like "AAAAHHH, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

As the Dodongo advanced upon Robert it was suddenly stopped when a hockey stick hit it over the head.

"I'm back, so have no fear; DRS is here!" yelled said author as she went in to hit the Dodongo again.

"Now is the time for me to show Farore how awesome and cool I am" yelled JGRDL as he leapt out of the crowd to shield Robert from the flames…bad idea.

"AAAARRRGGGGHHH" screamed a flaming JGRDL while a very worried looking Farore gasped in worry…so it got him attention, maybe it was a good idea lol.

"Meanwhile the workers came in and dragged away both an unconscious Robert and Dodongo whilst restraining a maniacally laughing DRS.

**Announcer's Box**

"Ok so that was new" said a now returned and rather shocked looking Dark-Link.

"Yeah it was 9.03 seconds and…HEY DARK-LINK WHEN DID YOU GET BACK" yelled Volvagia.

"None of your business lizard face" muttered Dark-Link.

"Hey take that back!" yelled Volvagia.

"Make me!" Dark-Link yelled back.

*FIGHTING NOISES*

"Well I supposed my fellow announcers / judges are busy at the moment so onto the next rider…HAIL ISSACIVAN THE NERD WONDER!

*WTF? WHAT DID HE CALL HIM? OTHER CROWD NOISES*

"Yay its time for me to shine!" yelled a happy Issacivan.

"Yeah whatever, just don't embarrass us" said archsage328.

"What he said nerd boy" added EvilDestroyer.

"Don't worry, I wont cause you two do enough of that yourself" Issacivan curtly replied.

Before AS328 and ED could do anything to get revenge on their team mate, the workers opened the pen and the (new) Dodongo leapt out in a frenzied rush.

**Arena**

As with the other Dodongos, this one was desperately trying to get the persistent author off its back but this nerd wasn't going to go down easy. The Dodongo ran head first at a wall trying to get Issacivan off but all it got out of that was a sore head and a burst of laughter from the audience.

"HAHAHA, I AM A MASTER OF DODONGO'S WITH MY AWESOME AND INCREDIABLY INFORMATIVE NOTES!" yelled a smug Issacivan as he watch a shocked AS328 and ED.

Of course because he was looking at them he didn't see the monkey hanging from the overhanging bar which Robert had encountered earlier.

*WHACK, MONKEY SCREAM*

Issacivan was knocked off the Dodongo with the monkey firmly holding onto his face without any indication of letting go. The Dodongo walked up to Issacivan with a crazed look in its eyes.

*WHOOSH, FLAME NOISEs*

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Issacivan and the monkey as the ran around the arena.

Meanwhile ED and AS328 where in the crowd eating salted nuts and drinking coke and milkshakes while watching the scene unfolding in front of them.

"Should we go help him now?" asked ED as he took a sip of his drink.

"Nah, I say we leave him for a bit longer" replied a smirking AS328 as he threw a nut at Navi.

*WHACK*

**Audience**

"The nerve of him" huffed Navi as she lowered her cricket bat and turned away from the unconscious AS328 and laughing ED.

"I don't think you should have hit him that hard though Navi, it was only one nut" Saria said sternly.

"That's not the point, it's the principle of the thing" Navi replied arrogantly.

"Whatever you say Navi" Link said with a sigh of exasperation.

Leo just sat back and ate the nut while watching Issacivan finally manage to get out of the arena relatively intact.

**Announcer's Box**

"Well that sure was fun!" yelled Volvagia.

"Hehe, yeah he was hurt majorly" Dark-Link chuckled.

"Did you just chuckle Dark-Link?" asked a surprised Volvagia.

"…It was an evil chuckle" Dark-Link replied indignantly.

"Whatever, anyway Issacivan lasted for…9.52 SECONDS!" yelled Volvagia.

"Yay!" shouted Issacivan before collapsing on the ground only to twitch a few times.

"Ok people now we move onto the next rider…PLEASE WELCOME RUTO!" GA96 shouted into the microphone.

*BOO! GET OUT OF HERE!*

"Well that was not very nice at all" said Ruto.

"They're just saving their voices to cheer for me, especially Link" Zelda replied smugly.

"As if princess, he's mine!" Malon yelled.

"His eyes will be on me the whole time we're in the arena" Ruto yelled back.

*CATFIGHT!*

Dark-Link covered his face with his hand as the workers tried to stop the fight, all to no avail. Meanwhile the Dodongo was getting sick and tired of this and so it managed to turn slightly in its pen before incinerating the trio of fighting girls. As the tree girls collapsed and were carried away GA96 stood up and cleared his voice.

"Well those three don't get any points for this round, maybe they will realise their mistake next time…NOW ONTO MEDLI'S RIDE!"

**Arena**

"Just hold on tight and don't fall off, it's as easy as that" said Tetra as she patted Medli's back and winked.

"Remember that if you are our team-mate and that if you are hurt then that Dodongo's days are numbered" Midna added with her freaky grin…*shudder*

"Thanks guys, I'll do my best" said a now very confident Medli as she climbed up on her Dodongo.

Her confidence wavered as the gates opened and the beast rushed forward with a roar, shaking about and twisting around. As the Dodongo rushed towards a wall at full speed Medli's wings opened and caught the wind, sending her tumbling off of the Dodongo to land painfully on the ground. As the Dodongo turned around to face the fallen Medli, it was suddenly hit in the tail with a scimitar and a blast of twilight energy.

"You hurt our team-mate!" yelled Tetra.

"Prepare to die!" Midna shouted in response.

Meldi winced as she saw the Dodongo being pulverised into the ground by the ferocious duo of fighters. She also winced futher when the workers tried to pull them away only to be beaten into the ground along with the Dodongo. Eventually armed guards came in and tazored Tetra and Midna whilst Medli crept out of the arena with a shocked expression on her face.

**Announcer's Box**

"Man, I really wanted to join in there and hurt a Dodongo" said Dark-Link in a wishful tone of voice.

"Well personally I thought it was horrible. Dodongos are close relatives of us Dragons" said Volvagia with disgust.

"Hmmm, close relative you say" said Dark-Link as an evil grin came over his face.

"What are you looking at Dark-Link?...Dark-Link you're freaking me out here…Don't come any clos-OH GOD THE HORROR!"

GreatAether96 looked shocked as Dark-Link leapt on Volvagia, sword drawn, and proceeded to beat the living daylights out of the dragon.

"That's…scary" said GA96 as he checked to make sure that he looked nothing like a Dragon or Dodongo.

**Audience**

"Hey she did pretty well there" said Leo as he looked up at the clock.

"Yeah, 8.23 seconds is more than I thought she would have gotten" said Saria.

"You'll do even better when the time comes Saria" said Link with a charming smile.

"Aww, thanks Link" said Saria as she hugged him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"I wanna hurt Dodongos too" said Navi before spotting DL and Volvagia and joining in.

*INCREASED SCREAMING FROM VOLVAGIA*

**Announcer's Box**

"Man, they're still going" said GA96 with a worried look on his face as he watched the fight. "Oh well, let's go onto the next person! EVERYBODY, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR FARORE!"

The crowd started clapping and JGRDL even threw in a wolf whistle…without being seen of course.

"Everyone is so nice to me" said Farore with a smile and slight blush on her face…ok so I lied, she did see JGRDL.

"Go for it sis!" shouted Nayru with a grin as she made the V for victory sign.

"We know you can do it Farore" said Din as she high-fived Farore and patted her on the back for support.

"Thanks sisters, here I go!" yelled Farore as the gate opened and the Dodongo ran forward with an ear splitting roar.

**Arena**

The Dodongo did a full 360 degree turn as it inhaled sharply, its skin growing hotter as the flames built up inside. Farore felt sweat bead her brow as the Dodongo released the fire in a large burst, rapidly propelling it backwards and almost causing her to lose her grip. She just managed to cling onto the tough hide, gritting her teeth as she pulled herself back into a more comfortable position. However, the Dodongo sensed its opportunity and leapt into the air (they can do that!) to land heavily on the ground, jostling Farore around enough to break her tedious grip. After that a simple quick spin sent Farore tumbling off the Dodongo and onto the ground.

Din and Nayru immediately leapt into action to draw the Dodongo's attention away from Farore…literally leapt! The two goddesses landed on the Dodongo and began taking it down pro wrestling style. Bets were placed and a referee was chosen while Farore cheered for her sisters from the sidelines as JGRDL tried to get close to her.

**Announcer's Box**

"…Hello? Yes I would like to order 10 gallons of mud please…oh never mind, it ended. Sorry to bother you"

"What were you doing there Dark-Link?" asked Volvagia.

"Um…nothing" said a very suspicious looking Dark-Link.

"Riiiggghht" a non-convinced Volvagia replied.

"Hey guys you didn't announce the time Farore got!" exclaimed GA96

"Oh yeah, well her time was…" began Dark-Link until he was cut off.

"8.96 SECONDS!" finished Volvagia.

*WHACK, BAM, POW*

"…stupid dragon"

"Ok, onto the next round now…GO SARIA GO!" announced GA96

"Ok it's finally my turn guys…wish me luck" said Saria as she climbed onto the back of her Dodongo.

"Don't worry, I know you'll do great" said Link with a reassuring smile.

"Just hold on tight for as long as you can Saria!" said Navi.

"We'll be proud of you as long as you try your best" Leo added.

"Thanks guys…but where's LH? Isn't he supposed to be here?" asked Saria.

"Hmm, now that you mention it, he hasn't been around for the entire first round" replied Link

"Did you do something to him Navi?" asked Leo.

"Well for once I left him completely alone" replied Navi.

Any further conversation was cut off by the opening of the holding pen's gate and the sudden rushing forward of the Dodongo.

**Arena**

Saria's face was as pale as a sheet as the crazed Dodongo ran towards a wall, bucking and twisting in an effort to get her off its back. In a sudden movement the Dodongo leapt backwards sending Saria tumbling forwards. After that the Dodongo spun around, unseating Saria and sending falling to the ground. Raising a giant clawed foot the Dodongo went to crush Saria. Link rushed forwards yelling at the top of his lung, trying to take the Dodongo's attention away from Saria but with no success. The giant foot descended with a loud thump and a cloud of dust.

"SARIA!" Link shouted / screamed as he rushed forward and began to hack up the Dodongo. As the finishing blow was dealt the Dodongo started to glow red, indication that it was going to blow up.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder Link turned around to see Navi, Leo…and Saria!

"Saria…you're ok!" shouted Link as he threw his arms around her.

"Yeah, someone threw me out of the way at the last moment" said Saria as the Dodongo exploded.

Everyone looked in the newly formed crater to see a figure barely moving, clothes singed and body slammed in the ground. As they got closer the figure turned over and smiled.

"Sorry I'm late guys" I said before fading into unconsciousness.

**Announcer's Box**

"Wow what excitement just then, 8.43 seconds on the Dodongo and added fireworks" said Volvagia.

"Yeah, it was ok I suppose" said Dark-Link.

"I feel sorry for when LH wakes up" said GA96

"Why?" asked Volvagia.

"Because he's going to be fretted over by nurse Nayru and that means he'll be completely at her mercy" replied GA96.

"…The horror" said Dark-Link as he watched Nayru teleport my body to her room whilst she grabbed a nurse uniform.

* * *

Well I hope you all enjoyed that and I also hope that I managed to meet expectations. I had to do something heroic and utterly stupid at the end

didn't I lol? Well please press that green button and review. I accept anonymous reviews but if you have an account and signed review then I can reply to it. Cheers!

~LinkHammer~


	18. Chat Room Again

Well here we are all back in the Zelda chat room. Please sit back, relax and enjoy. I hope I haven't lost my touch.

Disclaimer: _Much to my own dissapointment_ _I don't own the 'Legend of Zelda'_

* * *

**Link: Wow that was an exciting round!**

**Saria: Yeah, who would have thought Dodongos could be used in Rodeos?**

**Navi: It was a bit strange but it was a bit too dangerous for my liking.**

**Link: But I thought you liked dangerous things Navi.**

**Navi: That's not the point though.**

**Leo: Yeah, I mean Saria was almost very badly hurt. It was lucky for her that LinkHammer got there in time.**

**Saria: I suppose I'll have to thank him when he's better.**

**Leo: Where is he anyway?**

**Me: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH GET AWAY FROM ME!**

**Nayru: But you need mouth to mouth.**

**Me: Nooooo, I don't want to die!**

**Nayru: That's why it's called the kiss of life!**

**Me: RUN AWAY! *VROOM!***

**Nayru: You're not getting away from me Hammer Boy!**

**LiSaNaLe:…Ooooooook**

**Robert: Man my head still hurts from that overhanging bar. I'll sue whoever put that there!**

**JGRDL: At least you weren't set on fire. About the only good thing was Farore fussing over me…hehehe.**

**DRS: I…must…hurt…more…Dodongo MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**The nice men in the white coats come along and lure DRS into the big ambulance with a pineapple.**

**Issacivan: Hey guys I lasted the longest in that round so apologise for saying I'd embarrass you!**

**ED: Hell no, you still embarrassed us when you and that monkey got attacked by the Dodongo.**

**AS328: Damn Navi, why'd she have to hit me with Mr. Cricket Bat…it was just one nut for goddesses' sake.**

**Issacivan and ED start attacking each other while AS328 plots revenge against Navi…this time the nuts will win!**

**GA96: Wow I'm having heaps of fun as the announcer for the Dodongo Rodeo. Man I love my job.**

**Pl959: Do you want to trade jobs. My rear is still burning from that damned Dodongo…I think I'll take the chilli peppers compared to that.**

**GA96: Nah, I think I'll stay where I am; I'm allergic to things that hurt me.**

**Pl959: …you mongrel.**

**Majora: I think I did very well today!**

**Ganondorf: You could have done better twit.**

**Mido: Yeah**

**MaGa: What are you still doing here?**

***WHACK, SLAM, DOOR CLOSES***

**Mido: No let me out of this cage!**

**Din: I'm very proud of you Farore. You did us goddesses proud.**

**Farore: Thanks Din but I couldn't have done it without you and Nayru there.**

**Din: Thanks…where is Nayru anyway?**

**Farore: Playing nurse for LH, she needs to grow up sometimes.**

**Din: This coming from the one who was fussing over JGRDL like he was going to die.**

**Farore: …shut-up**

**JGRDL: Hehe, man I feel so lucky right now. Farore actually cares for me *contended sigh***

**Robert: Well good on you mate, I'm proud of you for what you have now achieved.**

**DRS: Both of you are idiots and mad to boot.**

**JG&R: This coming from the person in the strait-jacket.**

**DRS: When I get out of this you two are so DEAD!**

***RIP!***

**JG&R: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!**

**DRS: MWAHAHAHAHAHA DIE!**

**Issacivan: *huff, puff* Ok so we've established that I'm not an embarrassment and you don't have to apologise.**

**ED: *pant* yeah, we're finally even. *phew* man that was a good scrap there.**

**AS328: Well while you two have been fighting like small children I have designed the perfect act of revenge against Navi!**

**Issacivan: Don't call us children!**

**ED: Prepare for you and your revenge to die!**

***WHACK, BAM, POW, EXPLOSION***

**AS328: …my revenge…wasted *THUD***

**Medli: I'm sorry for screwing up back there.**

**Tetra: Don't worry; we'll get them next time.**

**Midna: And I know for certain that the judges will give us good marks next time.**

**Medli: How do you know that for certain?**

**Midna: Because if the don't…*freak grin***

**Tetra: I think I know what you're thinking B1 and I like it *joins in freaky grin***

**Medli: Ok you two are starting to scare me now…**

**Link: You know, I think that this chat room has really calmed down a lot.**

**Saria: Yeah I know. Right now there's not much going on.**

**Leo: Yeah, I mean LH is running away from Nayru screaming at the top of his voice, DRS is trying to kill JGRDL and Robert with a Rocket Launcher crossed with a Flamethrower that produces rubber duckies.**

**Navi: ED and Issacivan are destroying all of AS328's belongings…including himself and here I am doing nothing…MUST KILL SOMETHING!**

**Link: There she goes again.**

**Saria: Yep *snuggles closer***

**Leo: Things are finally back to normal.**

**Nayru: I've finally got you cornered LH.**

**Me: No, please don't do it! I'll gladly get hurt by Navi before letting you perform CPR!**

**Navi: DIE!**

***WHACK, BAM, POW, SLAM, CRUNCH, CRASH, CRACK***

**Me: …me…and…my…big…mouth.**

**Nayru: Well now that Navi's beaten you up, I can now perform my duties as your nurse.**

**Me: AAAAHHHHHH…hmmm.**

**Link: Does it look like he's putting up less fight than normal.**

**Saria: Yeah it does actually.**

**Leo: That's impossible right guys…err guys I am right aren't I.**

**Link: I don't know but I think LH is fighting a losing battle.**

**Saria: After all, Nayru is a goddess.**

**Navi: That's right. Ok from now on I'll play cupid!**

**Leo: Cupid's a guy Navi.**

**Navi: Fine then, you can be cupid and I'll be your assistant.**

**Me: Hey guys.**

**Others: Wait what are you doing here…aren't you over there with Nayru.**

**Me: Nope, I substituted myself with a dummy using my awesome ninja skills.**

**Others: *groan* You never change!**

***GRIN***

* * *

Thank you for reading, I'm glad you took the time. Please press that green button and review. Don't be afraid to voice your opinions and tell me what you think should happen in the story. I always enjoy seeing what people think as I am not gifted with the power to read minds though I am working on it.

~LinkHammer~


	19. Rodeo Round Two

Hiya everyone, you'll be pleased to know that I got off my lazy ass and wrote another chapter...which is pretty obvious seeing as you're reading it at this very moment. I am deeply sorry for the wait and will try to make up for my tardiness by getting more chapters out soon. You will notice that I usually put out two chapters at a time but chapter 20 will have to wait about a day as I am still writing it and I wanted to get this chapter out NOW seeing as I lost the file for about a month...(stupid USB and no backup copies :P). Anyway enough boring you and on with the story.

Disclaimer: LinkHammer does not own the Legend of Zelda (though he reckons he should) and all characters (minus OC's) are the property of Nintendo...  
Nintendo: "Link stop trying to take off that collar!"  
Link: "Damn...one day I shall be free!"  
Anyway blah blah blah end disclaimer :)

* * *

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the Hyrule weather report. It is fairly windy day today which should make today's round of the Hyrule Games even more exciting than usual. It shall be interesting to see how the contestants fare on their Dodongo's while being blown about...hold on a second. We have just received a report that the wind is actually being caused by a giant fan and that authorities are being called in to turn it off-"

The report was cut off as Link changed the TV channel. This was followed by him quickly lecturing me on why giant wind turbines are not to be used for practical jokes.

"But it was a good idea because it kept the flies away" I said with a disappointed look.

"You know he's right there Link, I haven't seen any of those annoying insects all morning" said Saria as she walked into the room.

"True...and I haven't seen Navi either" Link replied.

I grinned and started to speak "As she said; we haven't seen any of those annoying insects all mor-" *WHACK, THUMP*

"Who are you calling an annoying insect!" yelled Navi as she hovered over the prone body of the unfortunate author whilst holding a recently used cricket bat.

"That might have been a bit harsh Navi. We still need him to ride the Dodongo this round" said Leo as he poked the body with a Deku stick to see if he could get a response out of it.

"He'll be fine. Anyway the next round is about to start so let's hurry" Navi said as she flew out the window only to be blown away by a large gust of wind.

"I guess they haven't turned off the giant fan yet" said Link.

Saria shrugged her shoulders. "Guess not"

"Hiya everyone and welcome to the next round of the Dodongo Rodeo. Are you excited!" shouted GreatAether96.

*cricket noises*

"...Bastards...Anyway now that the problem with that giant fan has been fixed, it is time to begin the event!" GA96 shouted again.

"First up is Ganondorf. Let's see how he does today!" shouted an energetic Volvagia.

*WHACK*

"It's too early for this" muttered Dark-Link as he dragged the unconscious dragon out of the stadium and stashed him in some bushes.

**Dodongo Holding Pen**

"Ok Ganondorf, it's your turn to shine!" shouted phantomlink959.

"I shall crush our competition with my pure evil ability to ride the Dodongo!" bellowed Ganondorf.

Phantomlink959 raised his hand and shouted "All right, high five!"

Ganondorf and Phantom high-fived and then bumped their fists together.

"Can I join in?" asked Majora.

"Sorry, the moment of happy teamwork has ended. You'll have to wait for tomorrow's scheduled friend time" said Ganondorf as he walked over to the Dodongo that was thrashing about in its pen.

Majora looked at Ganondorf sadly. "...awwwww, meany"

As Ganondorf approached the pen, the Dodongo started thrashing around even more. Ganondorf smirked at what he thought was a display of fear from the creature. That was until the tail of the Dodongo broke through the pen and knocked the King of Evil down to land face first in a pile of Dodongo dung.

*KABOOM*

Medics rushed in and carted away the charred and rather smelly body of Ganondorf while the stable boy came in and cleared away the remaining dung…very carefully

"...it exploded?" said a shocked Majora.

"Yeah, well the thing is that the chemicals in the Dodongo's stomach are similar to nitro-glycerine and so whatever comes out will also have those explosive qualities" Pl959 replied with a matter of fact tone of voice.

"Ooook" mutter Majora as he watched the ambulance with Ganondorf drive away.

**Announcers Box**

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt" said GA96 with a wince.

"Yep" Dark Link replied.

"Do you think we should give him some points because of the entertainment he just provided?" GA96 asked

"Nope" said Dark Link.

"Aww, come on it was pretty funny"

Dark Link nodded. "Yep"

"So you'll give him points?" saidGA96 excitedly

"Nope" said Dark Link with a smirk

"...kill joy"

"TIME FOR THE NEXT RIDER!" yelled Volvagia as he suddenly appeared behind Dark Link.

*WHACK, THUMP*

Dark Link hid Volvagia in the bushes again.

**Dodongo Holding Pen**

DarthRevanShepard stood next to the holding pen with her team-mates Robert and JGRDL.

"Hey good luck out there DRS" said Robert.

"Yeah, you go and do your best" said JGRDL.

"Will do guys" DRS said with a grin as she walked towards her Dodongo.

As she was getting on the Dodongo, JGRDL turned and whispered to Robert. "This is gonna be hell funny if she stuffs up"

"Yeah, if she gets toasted by the Dodongo it would be total Karma considering what she did to the last one"

*WHOOSH, S-S-S-SMOKIN*

"I heard you guys" said DRS from atop the Dodongo that she had turned around and commanded to blast the two guys with fire.

"I'll remember this" said JGRDL as he collapsed to the ground.

"I'm too hurt to remember anything" added Robert as he also fell to the ground.

At that point the door of the holding pen opened and the (now re-turned around) Dodongo leapt out and into the arena. DRS started laughing maniacally until she got hit in the face by a coconut and fell to the ground.

"What the-" DRS began to say before she was cut off by a blast of flame from the Dodongo.

Back in the holding pen Robert managed to stand up and turn to JGRDL.

"I did say about the Karma" he smirked.

"Yep" JGRDL replied with a grin.

"...bastards" muttered DRS before she collapsed.

**Audience**

"Hey guys, correct me if I'm wrong but I don't recall being told about the second round riders having to avoid objects" said a confused Navi.

"Navi, a miracle has just happened" I replied.

"Huh, what do you mean by that?" asked an even more confused Navi.

"Yeah, I mean I don't see how a coconut to the face is a miracle" said Leo.

"Yep, funny as hell but not a miracle" added Link.

"It's got nothing to do with the coconut. The miracle is that for the very first and probably last time, Navi is 100% correct" I replied with a grin.

*WHACK, BAM, POW, HURTIES*

As the author collapsed to the ground and into unconsciousness Saria just shook her head and muttered. "Saw that one coming."

**Announcers Box**

"It would seem that we forgot to mention that we would be spicing up this round by throwing random objects at the riders" said GA96.

"Hmm fancy that" said Dark Link with a smirk.

"Anyway, what was her time?" asked Ga96

"The time was-"

"8.01 SECONDS!" shouted Volvagia.

"Would you please stop sneaking up behind me like that!" exclaimed Dark Link.

"Nope it's more fun for me this way" Volvagia replied with a goofy grin

*WHACK, BAM, POW, THUMP*

"Come to think of it, it's more fun for me this way as well" said Dark Link as he dragged Volvagia out of the arena and into the bushes for the third time that day.

"Idiots…anyway on to the next rider. Put your hands together for EvilDestroyer!

**Dodongo Holding Pen**

"Hahaha I am the EvilDestroyer and I will completely win this round with awesome style and knockout moves!" yelled ED.

"Dude, you have to sit on a rampaging Dodongo and avoid being hit by strange objects" said archsage328.

"I may be a nerd, but there isn't really much style involved and you can't particularly concentrate on performing moves" added Issacivan.

"I'll prove you guys wrong, now make way for my awesomeness" said ED as he walked over to his Dodongo.

The Dodongo started to thrash around in its pen a bit more as ED climbed on its back. Then the whistle blew and the doors of the pen flew open as the Dodongo barrelled out into the arena. Straight away objects started flying at ED as the Dodongo ran around like a mad thing. ED smiled as he saw a crazed squirrel coming straight for him.

"_Time to hit old nutty here away with my guitar_" thought ED as he reached down and grabbed...nothing?

ED screamed as the squirrel hit him in the chest, knocked him off the Dodongo and then began to bite his leg.

"What happened there?" asked Issacivan as he started to rush forward to remove the squirrel from ED.

"I seem to have misplaced his guitar" said as328 with a guilty smile as he threw said guitar under the still rampaging Dodongo's feet.

ED continued to scream while Issacivan tried to grab the squirrel with no success.

**Audience**

"Haha man that squirrel is not going to stop is it?" Link laughed.

"Yeah it's like it's after something that ED has" added Saria.

"Well it's definitely not dignity" said Navi as she tried to stop chuckling.

"Probably nuts in his clothes or something but how would they get there?" asked a bemused Leo.

Everyone looked at me.

"...What? I'm not the kind of guy to go around putting nuts in people's clothes" I said.

"Are you sure?" asked Link.

"Absolutely...popcorn on the other hand, hehehe"

Saria face palmed and Navi and Leo just shook their heads.

**Announcers Box**

"What is it with this team and getting hit by animals?" asked Dark Link

"Yeah, first it was a monkey for Issacivan and now a squirrel for EvilDestroyer" replied GA96

"WHAT WILL BE NEXT!" shouted Volvagia.

"It'll be you if you don't shut-up" growled Dark Link.

"Aww cheer up DL, anger is bad for your health" said Volvagia.

*WHACK, THUMP*

"More like bad for your health you overgrown lizard" muttered Dark Link as he considered dragging away Volvagia again.

"...Oook. Anyway the time was 8.87 seconds" GA96 announced.

"Onto the next round" mumbled a semi-conscious Volvagia.

*WHACK*

Make that a now fully unconscious Volvagia

**Dodongo Holding Pen**

"Make way for the princess" called out Impa as Zelda made her way towards the Dodongo in the pen followed by her servants and a band playing fanfare.

"What? Why does she get a huge procession?" asked Malon.

"Exactly, I didn't get one!" Ruto said angrily.

"That wasn't quite what I meant but anyway" added Malon.

"I am the Princess of Hyrule. You know an entire country. One of you is a loyal subject and the other is only a Princess of a group of fish people" said Zelda in haughty tone.

"Gee, someone got out on the wrong side of bed" said Ruto.

"Anyway, I will be safe in this round because Impa will shield me from all incoming projectiles" said Zelda as she climbed on top of her Dodongo.

"I'd complain about you cheating but if it means that we win then GO FOR IT!" said Malon.

"What she said" added Ruto with a grin.

The whistle sounded and the gates opened as the Dodongo leapt out and started running around on a rampage. A flower pot went straight for Zelda's head until Impa jumped in the way and intercepted it. Then she intercepted a bar stool and several machetes.

"I AM INVINCIBLE!" shouted a now manically laughing Impa in a perfect Boris imitation from 007 Goldeneye.

That was until the people in charge of throwing items decided to send in a volley of tomatoes.

*SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT*

Impa screamed in agony as the evil power of the tomato sapped away her strength (reference, Link's Valentines Day). Zelda also got tomato in her eyes and lost her grip on the Dodongo as she tried to get the offending stuff out of her eyes. The Dodongo decided it was time to make salsa and set fire to Zelda and Impa.

Ruto and Malon managed to drag the two charred bodies back to the sidelines where they were rushed to hospital.

**Audience**

"Ouch, that looked like it hurt a lot" said Link with a wince.

"Yeah but it serves them right for cheating" said Saria.

"I agree with you totally" said Navi.

"You'd agree with anything that had something to do with violence" I said.

*WHACK*

"And you just proved his point" said Leo with a shake of his head as Navi kicked the body of the author.

**Announcers Box**

"Ooh I could feel the burn in that one" said GA96

"Damn Dodongo overcooked the tomato" grumbled Dark Link.

"Is that all you care about? Two competitors just got rushed to hospital and you're complaining about burnt tomato" said an angry Volvagia.

"But I'm starving" said Dark Link as his stomach let out an audible growl.

"Well I'm also quite hungry but you don't hear me complaining about food" replied Volvagia.

Dark Link decided he'd heard enough from Volvagia and so he decided to solve two problems at once. He shut the dragon up with a knuckle sandwich.

*WHACK, CRUNCH*

"Finally he shut-up…I'm still hungry though" said Dark Link.

GA96 gave up his fresh meat and gravy roll as a sacrifice so as to avoid being next on Dark Link's painful hurties list.

"Anyway the time then was 8.99 seconds! Now it's onto our next rider Tetra!" GA96 shouted.

**Dodongo Holding Pen**

"Why hello there my little dinosaur-like friend" said Tetra with a smirk as she waltzed over to the caged creature.

"You're going to be extra nice to my friend Tetra aren't you Mr. Dodongo?" added Midna with a freaky grin.

The Dodongo looked confused as the two girls continued to ask it questions and call it friend and stuff. Well until Medli decided to tell it something.

"If you value your life you had better just listen to them. Trust me it's easier this way"

The Dodongo looked back towards Tetra and Midna.

*Cue Anime Style Dark Auras Radiating From Said Persons*

The Dodongo whimpered a bit as Tetra climbed over the fence and jumped onto its back.

The whistle blew and the Dodongo leapt into the arena as Tetra started laughing maniacally.

The Dodongo didn't rush around as recklessly as the others as the threat of painful doom was still fresh in its mind. Instead it attempted to keep its rider away from all incoming projectiles whilst walking softly to avoid jostling the rider. Tetra smirked as she moved to bat away a rogue rubber ducky with her sword. Of course it was then that the rubber ducky dissolved to reveal a small bomb with a jar of nitro-glycerine attached. I'm sure we all know what happens when you hit these items using any form of physical force.

*KABOOOOOOOOOM*

Medli rushed in and dragged away the unconscious Tetra whilst Midna went in search of whoever was in charge of projectile management…I say was because he definitely won't be in any shape to continue his job when she finds him.

**Audience**

"Wow that was a pretty sneaky move using that clever rubber ducky disguise" said Link.

"And just when you thought things couldn't get any more idiotic around here" added Saria.

"Actually we're always thinking that things couldn't get any more idiotic but then Navi proves us wrong again" I said with a chuckle.

*WHACK*

"Somehow I feel he has added greatly to the can't get more idiotic matter" said Leo as Navi stormed off to look for a weapon to cause massive hurties to the now dazed author.

**Announcer's Box**

"Wow that was a fantastic 8.76 seconds" said GA96 as he checked the stop-watch.

"The Dodongo was too tame for my liking in this match" said Dark-Link.

"That doesn't mean you had to send out a bomb disguised as a rubber ducky" said Volvagia.

"I was bored" said Dark Link as he rolled his eyes.

"It was still an offence to all of us rubber ducky lovers" said Volvagia as he wiped a tear from his eye.

Dark Link went to go hurt the dragon until he was suddenly jumped upon by a crazed Midna who set about trying to brutalise the guy.

*WHACK, BAM, POW*

"phew, that was a close one, I almost got beaten up again" said a relieved Volvagia.

Well he was relieved until Dark Link reached out and pulled him into the brawl.

"…he spoke waaay too soon" muttered GA96

"Anyway our next rider today is the Goddess of Wisdom. Please welcome Nayru!"

**Dodongo Holding Pen**

"YAAY IT'S MY TURN!" yelled an ecstatic Nayru.

"Wow you're pretty excited" said Farore.

"Of course I am, LinkHammer has to watch my entire performance and he'll be amazed by my stunning performance" said Nayru with a smile.

"…You do know you're riding on a giant lizard thing?" said Din.

"Maybe he's into that kind of thing" said Farore with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Well he is kinda weird" said Din in agreement.

(Back in the audience a certain author sneezed as he received the feeling that he was being talked about and not in a nice way at that.)

"Anyway I'm going to do my best to win!" exclaimed Nayru as she jumped on top of her Dodongo with the whistle sounding only seconds later.

The Dodongo ran forward straight forward into a large amount of incoming projectiles. Nayru ducked and dodged spiked iron balls, candy floss, TNT, leprechauns and many other objects in a stunning display of agility. The crowd ooooh'd and aaaah'd as the Goddess continued to stay out of harms way whilst staying on her Dodongo. As the crowd continued to cheer, Nayru looked towards a certain group to see a smiling blonde haired swordsman, a green haired girl, two glowing fairies and…an empty seat.

"_What? Why isn't he there?" _thought Nayru.

*WHACK, THUMP*

Due to her broken concentration Nayru failed to dodge the mammoth that was fired at her (though how anyone could actually fire a mammoth is beyond me). Farore quickly rushed in and picked up her sister as Din leapt on top of the mammoth and rode it out of the arena…right through the commentator's box.

**Audience**

"Hi guys what'd I miss" I said as sat back down in my seat with some popcorn and iced coffee.

"Well Nayru just got hit by a mammoth which Din then proceeded to ride through the commentator's box" Leo replied.

"WHAT! Damn that would have been fun to see" I exclaimed.

"Anyway why are you sitting back down here? You're up next" said Saria.

"She's right LH, down to the holding pen with you" said Link.

"Awww…ok" I said before walking away.

"Hey he left his food and drink here…sweet" said Navi before she then proceeded to eat the aforementioned delicious goodness.

**The Remains of the Commentators Box**

"Oh the agony. Why did the mammoth have to go through us?" said Dark Link as he struggled to climb to his feet.

"What was the time of that round?" asked GA96 from under a pile of rubble.

"An amazing 10.24 seconds" said Volvagia as he collapsed to the ground.

"At least that mammoth managed to stop Tetra trying to kill us" muttered Dark Link

"…" said (well it's hardly speaking actually) Tetra from the bottom of a giant mammoth footprint.

"While we wait for the commentary box to be repaired can everyone please welcome our next rider…" began GA96

"LINKHAMMER!" finished Volvagia before promptly losing consciousness.

"…he used too much energy" muttered Dark Link.

**Dodongo Holding Pen**

"Alright, now it's my turn at last" I shouted.

"I hope that you do well out there LH" said Saria.

"Yeah, make sure you give your best shot" added Link.

"Thanks guys, I will" I replied with a smile.

"Careful LH, I heard the projectile shooters discussing some sort of heat seeking missile" said Leo.

"That's going to be fun to see" said Navi with an evil grin.

Everyone looked at Navi with a worried expression on the face.

"…what?" asked Navi.

"Never mind, now get on your Dodongo LH" said Link.

The author climbed up onto the Dodongo and the whistle promptly blew.

As the Dodongo leapt into the arena with the author clinging tightly to its back a cannon was rolled in with the letters "H.S.M" printed on the sides (aka. Heat Seeking Missile…I didn't have to explain that did I?). At that point, a guy dressed in army uniform stepped forward, pointed at the Dodongo and yelled "FIRE!"

"_Hehe, I can't be hit by a heat-seeking missile"_ I thought to myself as I watched the cannon begin to fire.

First, the flash as the cannon fired.

Second, the smoke caused by the powder.

Last, Nayru.

"…_crap"_

*GLOMP, THUMP*

Link and Saria ran in to see if the Dodongo was alright. Leo looked at me with pity in his eyes while Navi laughed her ass off. Nayru continued to stay firmly attached to the author.

**Newly Rebuilt Commentators Box**

"Wow, that was a sneaky, underhanded tactic" said GA96.

"Why thank you. I was hoping for that reaction" replied Dark Link with a smirk.

*Hi-Five*

"Good work team, now what was the time?" asked Volvagia.

"5.59 seconds!" yelled GA96.

"Ouch, that is the worst time yet, excluding those who didn't even get into the arena" said Dark Link.

"And here I bet the readers imagined that the author would give himself the best time in the story" said GA96.

"SURPRISE!" yelled Volvagia.

"…By the way guys, how did the commentator's box get rebuilt so quickly. I estimate that there was only about one or two minutes between destruction and reconstruction" said Dark Link.

"We explain it thusly" began GA96

"No frickin idea" finished Volvagia.

* * *

Well there you go fanboys and fangirls, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Don't forget to click the green review button and drop a comment.  
BTW I have created a poll on my profile page which will allow you to cast your vote on who you think should win the Hyrule Games so please take the time to do that. Who knows, it may affect how this all turns out.  
Anyway, bye for now.

~LinkHammer~


	20. Stuff the Chapter Name

Hey guys, sorry about the delay between chapters 19 and 20. Anyway I hope forgiveness will be earned with this Zelda Chat Room session.  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda nor is it likely that I ever will. Ok just rub it in Nintendo, stupid copyright laws *grumble*

* * *

**Link: **Hey we finally finished another round of the Dodongo Rodeo.

**Saria: **It's about time isn't it loyal fans.

**Loyal Fans: **YEAH! WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES!

**Leo: **Well now you'll probably have to wait even longer.

**Loyal Fans: **WHY!

**Navi: **Because the Author is a useless and incredibly lazy bastard.

**Me: **…Thank you Navi…

**Navi: **You're welcome.

**Leo: **She was going to say something worse until the story rating stopped her.

**Link: **That is probably a good thing.

**Saria: **Undoubtable so.

* * *

**Din: **Hey well done Nayru, you got the best time in this rodeo so far.

**Nayru: **Yeah but HammerBoy didn't even see me in action.

**Farore: **You know that was rather mean of him.

**Din: **Exactly and so it is now time to destroy the author.

**Nayru: **…I'm joining in this time!

**Din:** YAAAY!

***VROOOM***

**Farore: **Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

* * *

**DRS: **It's quiet...too quiet.

**Robert: **Don't say that. Something bad always happens when someone says that.

**JGRDL: **Aw come on Robert, that is complete bulldust.

**DRS: **Yeah and I'll prove it with a Star Wars quote. I've got a bad feeling about this.

**JGRDL: **See nothing bad happened Robert...err Robert where are you.

***Robert cam running out from behind some trees whilst screaming***

**Robert: **IT'S A TRAAAAP!

**After that Robert, JGRDL and DRS were attacked by a herd of sugar craving, crazed Ewoks.**

***WHACK, BAM, POW, SMASH, CRACK, HURTIES***

* * *

**Archsage328: **Hey, why do those guys get to be involved in a Star Wars scene?

**Issacivan: **Well judging by their screams of terror and pain I would say they got involved against their will.

**EvilDestroyer: **Still it'd be awesome if we could get involved in an awesome movie crossover thingy. By the way where is my guitar?

**Issacivan: **For that you'd need an awesome quote and I can't think of anything. Oh and as for your guitar, "It's just a jump to the left."

**Transylvanians: **"And then a step to the riiiight!"

**ED: **Huh?

**Archsage: **Put your hands on your hips

**Transylvanians:** "You bring your knees in tiiiight! But it's the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insaaaaaane!"

**AS/ED/IS: **Let's do the time-warp again!

* * *

**Phantomlink959:** ...weirdos...oh well I guess I will try to be relatively normal.

**GreatAether86: **Oh no you don't. If you're in here you have to be stark raving mad.

**Phantom: **Why would I want to be mad?

**GA96: **Because it's way more fun that way.

**Phantom:** ...*sigh*

**GA96: **XD lol

* * *

**Link:** Hey have you guys noticed how peaceful it is?

**Saria: **Now that you mention it, it has been quite calm at our end of the chat room.

**Leo: **Yeah, normally LinkHammer has enraged Navi by now.

**Navi: **Why haven't you gone and done something to p*ss me off yet LH?

**Me: **I'm following the doctor's orders.

**Link: **Huh? Doctor?

**Saria: **How does being nice to Navi involve the doctor?

**Me:** She said some nonsense about how being continually beaten up is bad for my health.

**Navi:** Who would believe such rot?

**Din:** Not me

**Nayru: **Or me

**Farore: **May I suggest you start running to preserve your 'health' LinkHammer

**Me: **Why?

**Din: **I'll show you what happens when you ignore my sister you pitiful author.

**Nayru:** Once I'm done with you, you'll have no choice but to be under my medical care again.

**Link:** The horror

**Saria: **RUN LH!

*VROOOOOOM!* *Dust Clouds*

**Leo: **Hey where did Navi disappear off to?

**Navi: **Must join in hurties, MWAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

**DRS:** *huff, puff* We finally beat those creepy, furry, mutant Wookie things.

**Robert:** They're called Ewoks.

**DRS:** Don't correct me, the Battle Rage is still active and I must keep hurting annoying things.

**JGRDL: **In that case I can see LinkHammer being pursued by Din, Nayru and Navi.

**DRS: **KILL NAAAAVI!

*VROOOOOM*

**Robert: **Thanks JGRDL, I thought she was gonna kill me there.

**JGRDL:** No problem. Now that will be $200.

**Robert: **WHAT! I don't have that kind of money .

**JGRDL: **Battle...Rage...Still...Active...KILL

**Robert: **...help

* * *

**Issacivan: **WOOHOO! That was awesome

**ED:** I love the Time Warp, it's brilliant.

**Archsage:** From one of the best musicals/movies ever.

**Issacivan: **So are you happy now EvilDestroyer?

**ED: **My cravings for lol are now satisfied.

**Archsage:** That's good because I don't think I'd survive another round of singing and dancing.

**Issacivan: **Don't worry we'd have to start another quote.

**ED:** Hey look over there. LinkHammer is being chased by Nayru, Din and Navi with DRS chasing the fairy.

**Archsage:** Haha, LH is running hell fast.

**Issacivan:** Yeah he's going like Grease Lightning.

**Danny: **"GREASE LIGHTNING!"

**AS/ED: ***glare*

**Issacivan: **hehe oops...

* * *

**Phantomlink959: **So what I'm trying to say is that there is a limit to how crazy someone should be.

**GreatAether96: **It's not being crazy. It's expressing yourself in a manner that society feels is sub-normal.

**Phantom:** Oooh, good comeback. Now then, while I accept that it is sub-normal there are still varying levels of effect within this sphere off madness.

**GA96: **Squirell!

**Phantom: **And you just proved my poi-AAAAAHHHH GET IT OFF ME!

**GA96:** Hehehe, I'm a unicorn.

* * *

**Zelda:** Why has it taken so long for us to make an appearance in the chat room.

**Malon: **By all rights we should be one of the first people to speak.

**Ruto: **Yeah and now we are missing out on all the action.

**Tetra: **For example; LinkHammer is already being chased and Navi is also being pursued by someone with killing intent.

**Midna: **Normally we're right up there, straight in the action.

**Medli: **Umm guys we could just go and join in rather than complain about it.

**Majora: **That's so stupid that it might just work.

**Ganondorf: **Let's do this. But if I don't make it, tell my mother I'm sorry.

**Zelda: **Sorry for what?

**Malon: **Yeah what would the Evil King be sorry about?

**Ruto: **Apart from being ugly.

**Tetra: **Like you're one to talk fish face.

**Midna: **Even I look more normal than you.

**Medli: **I'm keeping out of this.

*SMASH, BANG, CRASH, POW, BAM, CRUNCH, WHACK*

**Majora:** So what are you sorry for Ganondorf?

**Ganondorf: **Nothing, I just wanted to build the tension so these idiots would eventually fight.

* * *

**Link: **Wow this has been pretty whacked.

**Saria:** Yeah what with crossovers and references from other fandoms.

**Leo:** Oh well, everything is as it should be.

**Link: **Yeah, everyone is having a good time.

**Saria: **...are you sure about that?

**Leo: **Take LinkHammer for example...

* * *

**Me: **...uh, that hurt

**Din: **Bwahaha, that'll teach you to mess with my sister.

**Nayru: **Isn't it nice that you've seen a whole new side of me.

**Me: **I think I preferred the cutesy, loveable Nayru.

**Din: **Well you're too late now. You've unleashed the ferocious beast now right Nayru?

**Nayru: **He said I was cute...*fangirl scream*...I forgive you HammerBoy. Now let Nayru nurse you back to health.

**Me**: _I should have stuck with the ferocious beast...*sigh*_

* * *

Well what did you guys and girls think of that. Yes the last part didn't quite turn out the way I wanted but I was out of ideas. If I ever re-edit the story, that is one part I'd like to fix.  
References made in this chapter are from: Star Wars, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Grease Lightning. If there are any others I forgot to mention then sorry. I don't own any of those references.  
Anyway it's reviewing time so click that button and leave me with your thoughts. Cheers-

~LinkHammer~


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